Happy Birthday, James Buchanan

The Story of James Buchanan

2020 Edition By Corinne Waterstraut

Two-hundred and twenty-nine years ago today, the future 15^th president of the United States of America was born in Cove Gap, Pennsylvania. For reference, George Washington has been president for just two years. JB will be the only President from Pennsylvania, and the last US President born in the 18^th century.

James Buchman might have been born in a log cabin, but don’t mistake that for being poor. He is born into money, with well educated parents. His life isn’t completely charmed, though. JB was born with a birth defect. For his entire life he’ll suffer from one eye that twitches, he’s near sighted in one eye, and far sighted in the other, and all of this will lead to his head tilting to the side or forward when he talks. While JB could use this to his advantage, it made him look empathetic (think Dwight in the office when the girls try and teach him how to talk to women), but plenty of people made jabs at him for it too.

James goes off to Dickinson College, where the feisty guy will end up being expelled for a year due to misconduct. But he graduated eventually. I’ll give you one guess what career path he went down. That’s right, JB will be another lawyer turned president.  

But JB will be a damn good lawyer, in Lancaster, PA. He’s tireless, and cleaver, and he wins a lot of cases, which earns him a fortune that will support him for the rest of his life.

The War of 1812 was raging now, and JB will “serve” like most young guys of his time. But, without his regiment ever seeing any sort of combat. So he’ll go right back to lawyering and adding to his piles and piles of money.

JB is 23 now, and while he’s a good lawyer, he is looking to add to his resume. He runs and wins a seat in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives. James is a Federalist, though, and the Federalist party is on the verge of collapse. He’ll have to re-evaluate his political party if he wants to move into national politics.

But for now, James has his nearsighted eye on matters closer to home. He’s 28 now, and he’s looking for a wife. Enter: Anne Coleman, daughter of the richest guy in PA. Anne’s dad will see JB as nothing more than a gold digger, a guy who was once expelled from college, and a gambler (JB once lost property as a result of a bet on an election), who was only after Anne’s money and family prestige. But JB likely doesn’t need it, after all, He’s making 8 grand a year. His lawyering skills have earned him at least $250,000 by now, a massive sum for 1819. But Anne and JB presumably fall in love, and get engaged anyway.

But things are not a fairy tale. JB was always working, and Lancaster PA was always gossiping about it. Talk of JB and Anne’s relationship swirl in Lancaster circles: JB is tremendously ambitious about making money (maybe even to the point of marrying for it). He’s a little too flirtatious with other women, especially for a guy who is supposed to be engaged. And he just might have cheated on Anne.

Likely, not much of it was true. But Anne was easily influenced, and broke it off. James appeared devastated. Anne, also kind of a loose canon went off to her sisters house in Philadelphia, where she died of what her doctor said was “sheer hysteria”. Now, a person doesn’t generally die of hysteria, so rumors have always swirled the after the broken engagement, Anne committed suicide.

James was heartbroken at her death, and the family wouldn’t even allow him at the funeral. JB says he’ll never marry, but as far as we know, he’ll actually never so much as date a woman again. Though he does flirt with Dolley Madison’s niece, Anna Payne.  

But for now, JB will pick himself up, dust himself off, and in 1820 he’ll be elected to the US House of Representatives. James Monroe is president now, and we’re ushering in the ‘Era of Good Feelings!’ He’ll be in the US House for 10 years.

A lot changes in those 10 years, though. The Federalist party is done now, though, so James is going to have to find new party. And he’s going to be in Congress while JQA and Andrew Jackson duke it out, so he’s going to have to pick a side.

JB will side with Jackson and the newly formed Democrats. He’s a states rights guy, against the National Bank. JB even helps Jackson get elected. But don’t mistake the same party affiliation with friendship. President Andrew Jackson appoints JB as Minister to Russia, just to get rid of him (saying he would have sent him to Antarctica if he could have).  Henry Clay and Andrew Jackson will agree on exactly one thing: JB suuuucks.

After a year in Russia, JB is ready to come back to America, sorry Jackson. But JB is climbing the political ladder, and it’s time for him to be elected to the US Senate, where he’ll spend the next decade.

While serving in the Congress, JB finds his very best friend, his confident, his better half perhaps? In William Rufus King, a Senator from Alabama. Now, it’s not unusual for Congressmen to live together in DC, it’s cost effective, and practical. But, rumors swirl the two guys are both pretty feminine and eccentric, and are now in a romantic relationship.

Andrew Jackson calls them “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy” (a 19^th century euphemism for girly guys). Others call them “Siamese twins”, since they’re always going to events together. They adopt each other mannerisms. Some call the guys “Mr. Buchanan and his wife”.

In 1844, the two wanted to run for President and Vice President together, but that wasn’t in the cards. Instead, the Democrats will nominate James Polk to run against the Whig, Henry Clay. Obviously Polk is victorious, and he even has a spot in his cabinet for James Buchanan… THE spot in fact, Secretary of State! JB and Polk will team up to double the size of the United States with the Oregon Treaty, we have a Manifest Destany, after all!

But Polk is only ever going to serve one term so by 1848, JB is hoping he’ll get the nomination for president. The Democrats have other ideas, they’ll nominate Lewis Cass, who will lose to Zachary Taylor (and of course, cherries will take him out leaving us with the one, the only, Millard Fillmore!)

Maybe 1852 will be his year! He’s gaining support in the south, and many southern delegates are happy to vote for him. But, alas, 1852 won’t be his year either.  The Democrats will be victorious with Franklin Peirce (who beats Winfield Scott), not Buchanan.

JB is so salty about it, he doesn’t even want the VP nomination in ‘52. Good news for William Rufus King, though, he’s fine with playing second fiddle to Franklin Peirce. So William Rufus King is going to be Pierce’s Vice President!

But bad news! William Rufus King has caught tuberculosis. Thinking warm weather might cure his cough, so he is heading down to Cuba! He won’t even be in DC to take the oath of office. In fact, by the time he comes back, he’s only got two days to live. William Rufus King dies like a month into being Veep, without ever having carried out any duties of a Vice President. He’s the William Henry Harrison of the Vice Presidential crop.

James Buchanan is devasted to have lost his very best friend. But, there is work to be done, and Franklin Pierce is going to appoint him Minister to Britain, so off JB goes to Europe with his new “daughter” in tow.

William Rufus King isn’t the only one dying these days. JB’s sister is dead, and her husband quickly followed suit. Leaving their 11 year old daughter, Harriet (among others) as orphans (back in 1841). JB was Harriet’s favorite uncle, so he took her in and sent her to all the best boarding schools, showed her proper social etiquette, and schooled her in the world of politics.

But spoiler alert: William Rufus King’s death is just one more addition to the dark cloud that is the Franklin Peirce administration. Franklin will cope the only way he knows how: drinking. All the meanwhile the country hurtles closer toward the Civil War.

While Peirce drowns his sorrows, violence erupts over slavery, especially in the Kansas territory (consisting of present day Kansas, and Nebraska, and including parts of the Dakota’s and Montana).  In fact, it gets so violent there, it will all be summed up in your history book with a key term: Bleeding Kansas. We’ll get to this when we get to Pierce. But for now, just know things got so heated that people started showing up armed to Congressional debates.

Things are really spinning out of control by the time we get to the Election of 1856.

Franklin Peirce isn’t the only one falling apart, political parties are also suffering casualties. The Whigs have disintegrated, in part because they’re sick of losing (Whigs do not have a great track record in elections or presidents), but mostly the Whigs have an inability to take a strong stance on slavery.

The crazy section of the Whigs, who especially hate immigrants and Catholics are going to go off and form the Know-Nothing Party. The Know so little, in 1856, they’re going to nominate Millard Fillmore for President. 

Another fraction of the Whigs is formed, too. The brand spanking new Republican Party is attracting former Whigs, who are disgusted by those who have allowed the potential expansion of slavery, particularly after Congress had set aside certain places (like KS and NE as free). Now, people are saying we should vote on it (popular sovereignty and all that). Republicans are not having it.

The new party, who side note, was also named in honor of Jefferson’s old party, is committed to opposing the further EXPANSION of slave holding states. They’re the first party to actively campaign for no more slave states.

The Republican throw some names around for president: Maybe William Seward (who will later be Lincoln’s Secretary of State)? He doesn’t work, he’s really anti-slavery, and we need someone who only kind of doesn’t want slavery. A guy without some radical ideas, like abolishing slavery all together. So the very first man to run for president as a Republican will be John C. Fremont. It’s a gamble for Republicans, he’s an inexperienced political, lacking a detailed public record.

The handsome, 43 years old Fremont has one short political stint on his resume: for nearly six months over 5 years ago, he was a Senator for California.

John Fremont was born in Georgia, and served as a Major in the Mexican-American War (which we’ll get to in November for Polk’s birthday), eventually becoming military governor of California for like four weeks. There was some talk of mutiny, and insubordination, and Fremont got court marshalled. So he wasn’t like, the best leader the army has ever seen.

But, John C. Fremont wasn’t a politician looking to move up the political ladder. No, he was an explorer! We’ve just gotten all that land out west, and the 1840’s are going to need their very own Lewis or Clark. Fremont, who earns himself the nickname “The Pathfinder” will lead 5 expeditions in the west. He won’t find wooly mammoths or salt mountains either, but he does find gold during the California Gold Rush, and becomes a really rich man.

While Slavery will really be the single issue of the campaign (we won’t see something like this again until Vietnam), Republicans are also for government money for railroads, a transportation revolution if you will. And Fremont had explored routes for a transcontinental railroad. He made a good pick for the fresh Republican party.

The Democrats are going to need their guy now. They pass over their big names. Franklin Pierce’s struggles have turned into drinking, a lot. He’s a weak president that can’t keep the party together. The campaign slogan for the nomination is “Anyone but Peirce.” So, what are the Democrats other options?

Senator Stephen Douglass had pushed through the Kansas-Nebraska act which repealed Henry Clay’s Missouri Compromise, but that just made him really divisive.

The Democrats need someone who has managed to keep their nose clean. How about some guy that’s been out of the country? That’s stayed out of this whole Nebraska-Missouri compromise of will they or won’t they allow/vote/abolish slavery! Someone with no public record on slavery to criticize! I know just the guy: James Buchanan, he’s had the good fortune of being out of the country for the last three years as Minister to Great Britain.

James is now 65 years old, still a bachelor, with a long political resume. He’s maybe not the ideal choice for Democrats, but he is called “the most available and most unobjectionable.” At the very least he is distinguished looking, has good manners and is a fancy dresser. We’re not talking high standards here for the Democrats at this point, but JB will do.

JB is going to keep an uber low profile as the nominee, so much so, it’s said “There is no such person running as James Buchanan, he is lockjaw.” (He keeps his mouth shut so much, he’s not even an actual person). But just because JB has nothing to say, doesn’t mean their aren’t attacks on the candidates.

The Democrats smear John C. Fremont. They throw out lies: he’s a drunk, a slave owner, even foreign born! They say he’s guilty of the brutal mistreatment of California Native Americans, and that he lied, or at best, exaggerated his discoveries when he was exploring the west.

They claim he is a crook, and *gasp* a Catholic, in part to help keep him from getting any votes from the Know Nothings (remember, they’re anti-Catholic!) Fremont’s wife, Jessie, is a Catholic, and so his her family. The Democrats claim if elected, Fremont will work for the Pope (a serious charge!)

Jessie Fremont is a popular writer, and daughter of a Missouri Senator. She’s been around politicians her whole life, and she’s rather adept in the world of politics. Jessie is John’s biggest supporter. She’s outspoken, an abolitionist who will speak her political views even if she is *gasp*, a woman!

Complicating matters for the election, though, Jessie’s dad is a supporter of James Buchanan. He claims Republicans are dangerous. Jessie’s dad isn’t the only famous family member supporting Buchanan. JB will earn the endorsement of the sons of both Daniel Webster and Henry Clay, who also believe a Republican win will split up the Union.

Everyone who wasn’t a Republican agreed: if those Republicans win the presidency, the south with secede and we’ll have ourselves a Civil War. (Fast forward four years, and we discover they’re not wrong).

The Democrats are also going to play on racist fears. If a Republican wins, and there’s all these liberated slaves, which party do you think they’ll join? There’ll be millions of “Black Republicans” the Democrats will never have a chance again!

The Republicans won’t take all of this lying down though. They call Buchanan an “intellectual sissy!” They say his head tilt is due to a failed attempt at suicide, because he was too incompetent to finish the job. While not a campaign issue, rumors swirl JB is gay. Plus, the guy is sort of our of touch. He makes a big gaffe saying working American’s could live on 10 cents a day, which they couldn’t, and earns himself the nickname: “Ten Cent Jimmy”.

The Republicans win for most enthusiastic too. T         hey held mass meetings, and marched through the streets in their “great morale crusade”, as they liked to call it. The part was full of writers and thinkers like Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Beating the drums in these parades, the almost Vice Presidential pick of Abraham Lincoln.

Fremont is turned into an idol for Republicans. They sell poster sized colored lithographs of him for $1, and they chant: “Free Soil, Free Men, Freemont!” (The Democrats counter with “Free Soilers, Fremonters, Free (N word), Freebooters.”

Voters turn out for the election of 1856 in droves. At 80% it is the 3^rd largest voter turnout in American history (81.8% in Hayes v. Tilden, and 81.2% in Lincoln vs. Douglas). James Buchanan wins with 174 electoral votes to John C. Fremont’s 114.

The race was close in Pennsylvania, Virginia, New Jersey, Indiana and Illinois, where Millard Fillmore and the Know Nothings acted as spoilers. Fillmore only earned 8 electoral votes, but he managed to get 21% of the popular vote.

The Republicans may have lost, but it was a good showing for their party’s first go around. It gave many hope for 1860.

In the end, the election proves northerners still consider the threat of secession as a greater evil than slavery, so they vote for the Democrat, and now James Buchanan is our 15^th president, along with Vice President John C. Breckinridge. Does that name sound familiar? He does end up running for president in 1860 as a Southern Democrat. He’s not as high profile as Lincoln vs. Douglas, but he was there.

In Buchanan’s inaugural address, he endorses popular sovereignty in the states, and non-interference with slavery in the South. JB supports the Fugitive Slave Act, and is here to protect the south’s rights to own slaves.

And then he goes off to throw a giant Inaugural party with $3,000 spent on whine, and 400 gallons of oysters. JB’s going to throw some large, garish, lavish parties at the White House! Gone are the sad, dreary years of the Pierce administration, replaced by Buchanan’s sour kraut and mashed potato parties, where he’ll also serve a bunch of alcohol. JB loves his liquor, and he’s got a legendary tolerance. He complains the bottles of champagne were not large enough, whiskey was his drink of choice. He often swung by Jacob Baer’s distillery on Sunday on his way to church to pick up a 10 gallon cask of “Old JB”.

JB is the one and only bachelor president, so he doesn’t have a wife to be his hostess. Instead, he’s got his “adopted daughter” Harriett, who is all grown up.

Twenty-seven year old Harriett is a smart, flirtatious young beauty. She’s tall with red-blonde hair, and dark blue eyes (people often call violet). But Harriet is much more than a pretty face. Her dignity and charm are infectious.

She’s the hostess with the mostest, enlivening social gatherings with her spontaneity and poise. And this is no easy task right now. With the north and south at each other throats, dinners at the White House were tricky. Harriet had to manage seating charts where you had to keep people happy, giving dignitaries their proper precedence, while keeping political foes far apart. It was a great balancing act, that Harriet did with class.

She became on icon, hosting with enthusiasm and discretion. Her style was copied by women all over America, parents name their daughters Harriet, US ships are also named for her (one is still in service!)

Harriet is the first modern first lady. She’s not all about parties and glamour. No, she’s going to champion many noble social causes. She will promote improving living conditions of Native Americans on reservations, and made it a point to invite artists and musician to White House functions to expose guests to the arts. 

For JB, Harriet gives him a sense of family, she’s his personal confident. But, he’s also an overbearing Uncle. He intercepted all her of mail, opened her letters and then resealed them and forwarded them to her with the note “opened by mistake” scrawled across them. Harriet resorted to hiding her notes and letters in empty butter jugs her friends carried in and out of the White House.

See,  JB is a nitpicky guy. He needs things *just so*. Polk often said he “acted like an old maid”. But he once rejected a $15,000 payment when it was off by 10 cents. He discovered he had underpaid a merchant, and went back to make sure they got their 3 cents.

JB might be rich. But he accounts for every penny. He has a passion for precision, keeping a daily log of his money spent (for to the cost of buttons and suspenders for his valets).

JB isn’t just nitpicky and cheap. He’s also got an ego. He is convinced he can restore harmony to the country, going so far as to say he believes he’s going to be the next George Washington. But the problem is exactly what got him elected: his absence during the slavery debate will doom him to failure. He has no grasp on how big of an issue slavery has become. Edwin Stanton, of Ohio, warns him: “You’re sleeping on a volcano”.

Two days into his first term as president, the Supreme Court issues the famous Dred Scott Decision. The Court, consisting of mainly southern judges, rules slaves are property of their owner, not citizens, and they have no right to sue for their freedom.

James Buchanan thinks, great, it’s settled! The Supreme Court had ruled. He even called it the “final settlement” in the slavery debate.

But, obviously this was far from the end of the slavery issue. The Dred Scott Decision basically legalized slavery in all territories. The Northern outrage from the decision proved JB was wrong. It wasn’t the end of this. The Republicans are just more angry, and even the Democrats are starting to have differing opinions on slavery.

So right now, you might be thinking JB is a slave loving guy. But, you’d be wrong. He actually hates slavery. He thinks it is morally wrong, and in fact on occasion, he even bought slaves to set them free. But a lawyer at heart, JB is also a strict Constitutionalist, and the Constitution guarantees your right to own slaves.  JB says “what is right, and what is practical are two different things.”

But JB also isn’t a fan of abolitionists. He finds them unreasonable, noisy, and even treasonous! He blames abolitionists for all the US troubles, which does nothing but piss off the new Republican party, which just grows bigger.

JB, the strict Constitutionalist, proposed amendments to the Constitution to outright allow slavery. Of course, that never happens. JB just doesn’t know how to resolve the issue.

Northerners think he’s morally obtuse, legalistic, and unimaginative. But the South is starting to look at him with contempt too. His cabinet of Southerners begin to bail one after another. JB is looking out of touch, and he’s losing allies.

Making matters worse he might have had one of the most corrupt administrations in US History. During the fight over slavery in Kansas, in turns out guys had been offered cash to vote the Democrats way, “incentives” totaled $30,000. Then, a relative of his Secretary of War stole $850,000 in federal bonds. The Secretary, obviously, was implicated, and JB forced him to resign.

It got so bad, Congress refused to give JB the funds he wanted to buy Cuba, because Congress was so certain JB’s cabinet would pilfer the funds. It probably wasn’t a good idea, anyway. JB wanted Cuba so bad he was willing to take it by force, and was totally prepared to make it a slave state, which probably wouldn’t have gone over very well either.

He’s got other troubles anyway, like John Brown. Brown was an abolitionist, and not just any abolitionist. He was a radical abolitionist who believed that slavery needed to be ended by any means necessary, which basically means he’s prepared to use violence to end this whole thing.

So he gets together so with a small group of men to raid the federal armory in Harpers Ferry, Virginia (now West Virginia).

Brown is planning on stealing the weapons, in order to arm slaves and starting a revolt that will end slavery in the United States. He seized the army, but 7 people were killed and Brown and his men were captured shortly there after by farmers, militia men, and the US Marines, led by Robert E. Lee.

There were other outspoken abolitionists of the era, guys like Fredrick Douglas, who had escaped slavery in Maryland and had become the leader of the abolitionist movement through his writings and speeches.

And Harriet Tubman who had been born into slavery but had escaped, and then made it her lifelong mission to help other slaves escape. Harriet Tubman made some 13 missions to rescue approximately 70 enslaved people, including family and friends, using the network of antislavery activists and safe houses known as the Underground Railroad.

John Brown enlisted their help with the raid. But Harriet got sick and Fredrick Douglas believed the plan was ill conceived. Good for them, because John Brown was tried and hung for the crime of treason. He was the first person to die for the crime of treason in the United States. Interestingly enough, John Wilkes Booth witnessed the hanging of John Brown.

But John Brown’s raid on Harper’s Ferry, and his subsequent death just makes abolitionists angrier, and the south more paranoid, believing slave revolts like these might pop up all over the country. 

Buchanan just sat there, doing nothing. He’s called unimaginative and ineffective. This isn’t really new, Buchanan is just the last guy who failed in a long line of presidents who tried to address the issue of slavery without using force.

So by the time 1860 rolled around, to nobody’s surprise, James Buchanan is not going to be nominated for re-election. Instead, James will back his Vice President, John C. Breckenridge, a slavery man from Kentucky. Fun Fact: Breckenridge is the youngest VP in history (at 36 years old). Breckenridge will be on the ballot for the Southern Democrats, while Stephan Douglas will be the Democrat on the ballot in the north.

Ultimately the vote in 1860 gets split four ways, and Abraham Lincoln is the winner, causing South Carolina to promptly secede from the Union. Lame duck President James Buchanan is attending a dance in Washington DC, when a Congressman from South Carolina runs through the halls waving a telegram excitedly, announcing South Carolina is in fact leaving the Union. That’s one way to ruin a party, JB makes his way back to the White House.

JB admitted three states to the Union while he was president: Kansas, Minnesota, and Oregon. But, he’ll have a net loss of four states. Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana and Texas will all follow South Carolina.

As the southern states announce secession and the formation of the Confederacy, JB stands by helplessly, as the country tears itself apart. He condemns the states for leaving, but argues he has no power to stop them. Remember, he’s a Constitutionalist. Legally, he believes he cannot stop the states from secession.

JB is just going to throw his hands up, embrace his lame duck status, and waits for Lincoln to take over. The day Lincoln is inaugurated, Buchanan leaves him a letter telling him “if you are as happy entering the presidency, as I am on leaving it, then you are a happy man indeed.”

That’s not all Buchanan leaves Lincoln, though. The King of Siam was hoping to send a long two Thai elephants to JB. But the elephants were a little slow in making their way to DC. By the time Lincoln showed up, he told the president of Siam thanks but no thanks to the elephants. 

After the presidency, JB is going to go to his large brick home, Wheatland, in Pennsylvania to live a quiet life. As the Civil War raged, he supported the Union.

But the Union did not support James Buchanan. He received angry and threatening letters daily, pictures of Buchanan appeared in store windows with his eyes colored in red, a noose around his neck, and "TRAITOR" written across his forehead. Meanwhile, the press accused him of colluding with the Confederacy.

He had no friends in DC. His former cabinet members, some who now worked in the Lincoln administration, refused to defend Buchanan publicly.

 JB spent most of his final years defending his actions, fighting “Buchanan’s War”, a fight for his legacy. He always believed history will vindicate him. That some day he will be as beloved and respected as George Washington. JB was flat out wrong.

At the age of 77, JB dies of pneumonia. His last words were “Whatever the result may be, I shall carry to my grave the consciousness that at least I meant well for my country.”

The best thing JB left behind for the country, was his niece Harriet. She has a tough life. She gets married to a rich banker, and has two sons.

But within 18 years her whole family, including Uncle James dies. Harriet is good at picking herself up though, and she moves back to DC. When Harriet dies, there is nobody to leave her money to, or to take her expansive art collection.

So she leaves her money to John Hopkins Hospital to build a home for disabled children. Today, the hospital is an outstanding pediatric facility with a glowing national reputation. The Harriet Lane outpatient clinics serve thousands of kids to this day.

Her art collect was given to the country. Her art was integral to the foundation of the Smithsonian American Art Museum. It can still be seen today, a testament to her legacy of advancing the causes of the arts.

As for the legacy of James Buchanan, it’s not so favorable. According to every book on my presidential shelf, he  “did nothing” and “stood by”.  JB was decidedly not “the next George Washington”, instead he is one of the least effective presidents we’ve ever had, usually making the top 10 worst list.