Week 7: Boy- [boi] noun 1. noise with dirt on it

This week has been super busy around the house. It's Tuesday, and I already need a weekend to recover from the weekend!

Tuesday I invented clothespin math. I'm really trying to do anything to get Peyton to learn his multiplication tables. Basically, they each had half of a large poster board with some multiplication problems on it, and clothespins with some answers on it and they had to clip the right clothespin to the problem. Hayden was left sitting at the table long after Calib and Peyton had finished- so maybe next time I'll do something different with him- Math night may turn into sight word night or something for him. He is well beyond his years in Math. On the upside we fly through his weekly math homework in about ten minutes the first night he brings it home.

Wednesday I probably should have been getting ready for the trip, but in true Corinne form- I procrastinated until I couldn't/shouldn't procrastinate anymore. I got a lot done- gave Porkchop a bath in the sink (who needs another baby when you have a Porkchop, right? He even wakes me up in the middle of the night whining), made some donut muffins (I totally recommend them- all my pinterest using friends you can find the recipe there), made some paper cup launches (this involves a cup, a balloon and marshmallows flying across the room-- good times!!), and cleaned the house. I just didn't get the packing done, I figured at this point I've become super good at packing and unpacking since I'm off on some trip like every two months, a weekend trip would be super easy to pack for.

I did come up with a great idea Wednesday for a good behavior competition for the window seat on the plane. Although, no sooner had I said "Competition starts now", when Peyton squirted water all over the bathroom, and then replied "Ok, wait. Can the competition start now?'

Thursday I spent the day packing and getting things situated for the weekend. After the boys got home from school, and Asa got home from work I made dinner and we headed out to the airport. Hayden told his classmates he was going to Ohio for the weekend. The conversation went like this:

Hayden: 'I'm going to Ohio for the weekend"

Dude with the glasses (aka Ashton): "You don't even know where Ohio is"

Hayden: "No, I don't. But I just get on a plane and it takes me there"

When we got to the airport, I was quite perturbed to hear checked baggage with Spirit Airlines can only weigh 40 pounds. Now, I'm a pretty frequent flyer, on tons of different airlines, and this is the first I've seen it under 50. Luckily, I had an extra bag for the inevitable stuff that I would bring back, so I piled some jeans in that bag, tied my tennis shoes to my bag, and came in half a pound over- but they let me get away with it. Still, I was annoyed. By the time we got to the gate it was storming really bad- lots of lightning- which is really a typical Florida late summer storm, but not awesome if you're trying to fly out. Some planes were landing, some were getting diverted, but nobody was allowed out to guide the planes in, so everyone just sat annoyed in the airport while planes were getting delayed and diverted. The airline people would come on the announcements and say "If you're travelling on..." (insert dramatic pause here- where Asa and I gave each other concerned looks) Then they would say some random flight (insert relieved noises from Asa and myself) and something awful about people not making connections. Luckily, the storm stopped and we flew out on time. It's a good thing too because the boys were really ancy. Which, Asa and I found amazing. They could survive that awful day of delays, layovers, and issues going to Alaska-without whining but couldn't handle the trip to Ohio without rolling on the floor, whining, and arguing with each other. Lesson of the day- do not fly out after a full day of school. That 2 and a half hour plane ride really turns into like a seven hour trip with driving and everything else. By the time we finally got to my moms house it was past midnight.

Heres the thing about Ohio in the fall- and really, my perception of Ohio. I hated the winter, the first snow was fun, sledding is enjoyable- however, living there year round is not. From the winter I remember not seeing the sun for months at a time, dirty snow, wet socks, frostbitten finger tips. None of these things are good. And so, I do not miss Ohio in the winter. Ohio in the spring reminds me of Cedar Point- and Memorial Day weekend- and how blue the water used to seem then. Until, I moved to Florida and realized that water is anything but blue. And so, I don't really miss Ohio in the spring. Ohio in the summer is fine- but I don't need to miss summer. Because, well, I live in summer. Now, Ohio in the fall- I miss. The leaves changing colors, crisp blue skies and cool breezes. When I was up in the fall two years ago, it was gorgeous out. Warm, not hot, leaves just starting to turn- everything good I remembered about fall. Because of this, I was SO very excited to go see Fall again. Apparently my brain had completely forgotten that fall too has it's crappy side. Cold rain, grey sky, dirty wet leaves everywhere, and again the dreaded wet socks. Not a big fan of fall anymore, fyi.

The bad part about the whole thing was I had planned Friday around a nice cool fall day. We were going to go to a corn maze, pet some goats, feed some chickens, take a hayride. Calib was going to go with Jeff to his grandpas football game too. But, the rain ruined those plans. Everytime I came up with something else to do, it was closed. Eventually we just went out to lunch, and over to the apple cider mill for some fresh apple cider from the mill (because the stuff you buy in the store is NOT apple cider, people). That place is awesome. You know how when you grow up and things you did or places you went as a child just don't seem the same? Somehow the Cider Mill has escaped from that category. It's the one time I wish I could smell, because I bet it smells awesome. Plus they give you free samples, and the cute little wind up apples will eat your pennies. And to top it all off its the same couple working there that has been for 30 years.

After the apple cider mill we went over and bought some small pumpkins. Pumpkins in Florida are so ridiculously expensive compared to Ohio, though most things are. You people pay very little for milk, by the way. And eggs. And beef. And cheese. And fruit. And, really anything at the grocery store. Except maybe oranges. Anyway, after my complete shock of their pumpkins costing $2.50 for BOTH OF THEM! We went to the costume holiday house. This was also a staple of my childhood. I'd go, get some butterfly wings, or a bunny nose- add some glitter and leg warmers (tied over my head for bunny ears of course)- and I had my Halloween costume. The plan was really just to go and get a nose or something for the boys book character parade at school, but they ended up picking out their actual Halloween costumes too. My main concern was getting them back, since my bag was already a half pound over, but I made it work.

Once my mom got home from work, we went apple picking. And yes, it was still raining. But I really wanted to bring apples home. As noted in the previous paragraph apples are way more expensive here. Plus I have all these great recipes for apple butter, and making apple sauce, and canning fresh apple pie filling. Peyton was out of the car for about 5 minutes before he decided it was absolutely asinine to be picking apples in the rain. Hayden was all about it- but I think mostly for the fact that he'd pick one with a bad spot, and then chuck it as far as he could. He liked throwing them more than he liked picking them. It did get old fast though. It was raining, the trees were soaked so every time you'd pick an apple your sleeve would get drenched, the grassy areas had turned to mud, and Peyton kept yelling from the car to see if we were done yet. Not quite the fall experience I had in my head when we booked our trip. However, afterwards I did get a Cappuccino from Speedway (YUM!) and some chud spuds, so I'm not really complaining.

Luckily, it stopped raining in time for us to go to Cedar Point. I often forget amusement parks aren't open year round up there- so Friday night was really our only chance to go. When we got there I saw Andrew, my fondest memories of him include throwing mugs at him in the back of Sneak Peeks. Still, there are only a handful of people I still know working at Cedar Point (and even less than that of people I would actually want to see). We took Haydens picture over at Sneak Peeks, since without Sneak Peeks there would be no Hayden Waterstraut. He was on assignment to make a scrap book page about his family- so we figured Ohio would be a good place to take some pictures. We also had Peyton officially measured, so we wouldn't have any of the 'is he tall enough' drama. He was right at 54 inches. They even made him take off his shoes to make sure we didn't stuff them or anything!

Fifty-four inches meant Peyton was tall enough for any ride at Cedar Point- so he did get his first trip on the Raptor. (aka the best roller coaster EVER). I mostly took Hayden on the kiddy rides, while Asa and Peyton went on the rides. Apparently, that new swing ride that takes you up 300 feet is really frightening. I would have gone on it if it wasn't for the circular motion- because I didn't want to find out what it would be like to vomit 300 feet in the air. Since it was Friday Night, there wasn't a ton of rides open- Hayden especially was out of luck so when we got all the way to the back of the park and realized there weren't any rides he could go on open, I bribed him with a light up sword to walk all the way back up. He seemed ok with that. And of course, what trip to Cedar Point would be complete without an elephant ear and some cheese fries? Right at the end of the night Hayden asked me if we could go home. He said he had fun, but he was sleepy. He made it to the end of the causeway and then passed out.

Saturday Morning when we woke up we got to see Cort, Holly, Gwen and Garrett. Gwen was waiting patiently for Uncle Asa to get up, she even had drawn a treasure map and was requesting he follow the map to find the treasure. Gwen is all about her Uncle Asa, she pretty much knows she has him wrapped around her little finger. I guess that's what she gets for being the only niece. When we got up to Toledo, everyone was just getting to the shelter house at the park to get ready for the party. Here's the thing about the Ainsworth women. They are nothing if not particular. I don't do anything unless I am told specifically where, when, why, and how. Basically, I stayed out of the way and watched some kids until I got pulled into crate paper duty, which I was horrible at. I think I had a height disadvantage.

Grandma arrived for the party, and I think was pretty surprised to see us. This party could also be referred to as 'how many different types of pasta salads can you eat'. Holy guacamole, there was pasta salad for like every birthday grandma has ever had. Thats another thing about Ainsworths though- they always always always have enough food. Overall, they're good company. (Hi guys! *waves*)

It's nice to go to Ohio for events like these because you get to see so many people at once. It was a pretty entertaining day- my friend Ben dropped by, he's pretty much family- most of my cousins and their kids were there- resulting in lots of inappropriate jokes, injuries, and freeze tag- My cousin Joanne was there- to cheat in short distance running and play freeze tag from a bench- My cousin Tim was there to drop my youngest child directly on his head--Clint was there- teaching my kids how to do underdogs on the swings and getting terribly dirty- Cort was there teaching us the art of leaving your kids for someone else to watch. My Uncles were there- inventing games out of throwing acorns into gutters.

My mom had also invited the Sattler side of the family to the party, so I got to see them too. My cousin Jake pretty much ditched us for his girlfriend until we repeatedly texted him things like 'will your girlfriend let you come over?' and then subsequently 'will your girlfriend let you text us back'. Eventually he showed up. Oh, high schoolers. I also got to catch up with grandpa Sattler and let him know all the goings ons in Florida since he moved.

After the party, we had a party- because, thats what we do. A bunch of people headed on over to grandmas house where there was also plenty of food- since we hadn't consumed half of the 115 different kinds of pasta salad yet. The kids played in the backyard- or mostly just ran from Clints giant dog, complained about how rough elemeno played, and then continued to get him to chase them. Before everyone left we took a family picture. Peyton was being his usual pouty self about pictures, so we all were talking to him to get him on board. So, all us plus grandma stood for the picture. Afterwards, we were dispersing, and I see Hayden come running from the back yard- which then made everyone question if he was even in the picture. After looking back through the camera, we had totally missed Hayden- he wasn't with us the whole time. So, we had to take it again. Poor Hayden, nobody even noticed he was missing.

Sunday morning we got up and left Fremont to head back over to grandma's house. I had really thought it was just going to be a few of us over there before we went up to the airport, but it turned into another full blown party, luckily we still had some pasta salad to feed us all. Asa then took our boys, and Max and Henry to the back yard and decided to host an Olympic Event of horse racing, but since they had no horses, the logical step would be to have Calib and Peyton give horse rides to the littler kids. It was quite the sight to be seen. All in all, only one pair of jeans was ruined, and no major injuries were reported.

On the way to the airport- we stopped by walgreens to pick up a couple pictures of Hayden's project he had to do about his family. After we picked them up though I realized we had to double check and make sure the family picture was one with him it- luckily it was- but it really was total luck. He ended up putting the scrapbook page together on the floor at the airport. You gotta do what you gotta do to get your homework done in a timely manner, you know.

When we got to the airport, everyone was buzzing about the Lions game. The security guard was talking about how they were down by a lot- we told him not to worry- so were the Bucs last week. Right before the plane took off the pilot announced the Lions had won. I was a little annoyed that he didn't say how the Bucs were doing when we landed- so Asa sent Noah a text. Everyone on the plane was pretty shocked to hear the Bucs were up- but it was a close game, and Noah texted us the play by play until the end of the game. So, thanks Noah! The rest of the people on the plane- and the shuttle bus- also thank him.

Monday I spent the whole day being pretty lazy. I got some laundry done, cleaned the floors, and got some school stuff together. Calib went on his JA Biztown field trip. It's basically a little town the kids run. He had to be at school early, which after the weekend wasn't awesome, but he was pretty excited about. He got to the CFO of the Radio Station, had lunch from the JA Biztown McDonalds, and got to go to the JA Biztown store. Good field trip, but for $42 it better be.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend- I need a Sunday to hang out, watch football, and do a whole lot of nothing else.

Fun Side Notes:

Hayden on the airplane, reading the safety card in the seat pocket, his observations:

Basically the steps to evacuate the airplane was how to get on the airplane. Be sure to put your 'coat' (life jacket) on so you don't get cold. Opening the emergency exit door is going to the market and putting stuff in the fridge.

Everyone gets in the boat together and shoots the red arrows in the water to get to the plane.

If something bad happens on the plane- you pull the yellow bell down and put it on your kids face, because you can't get hurt with a yellow bell on your face.

Things I said this week, I never thought I'd say (growing up in Ohio):

"Don't take Fletcher home- a sink hole opened up"

"I had to swerve out of the way for the alligator in the road"

Up Next: Were going to see the Monday Night Football Game- tune into ESPN and try and spot us!

Week 6: I Like Nonsense, It Wakes Up the Brain Cells

It was a pretty quiet week around here. Asa is still in training, which means he's working 8 to 5, sometimes later with overtime. He's not home until 6 most days, so I feel like I'm home without adult interaction for a really long time. I've found ways to fill my day, though. I really thought when Hayden went to school I'd have all kinds of time on my hands. The most time I have to just relax is the 45 minutes I sit in the car and wait to pick the boys up from school (it's still too hot for Hayden to bike 2 miles a day). I've found this is the best time to use my kindle, and have discovered I can use my kindle approximately 7.5 times before it dies. That other .5 becomes really boring when I'm sitting in the car with nothing to do. Thanks to writing this, I won't have that boring .5 and I just went and charged my kindle. Yay. It's really bad because my phone doesn't work pretty much at all anymore, unless it's plugged in. Which, pretty much just makes it another land line. I guess dropping it in the toilet did have an effect on it- who knew? Anyway, the rest of the day I'm doing things for other people (I'm like the queen of favors lately), or cleaning or prepping things for after school snacks, activities, homework, or dinner. I do have a lot more family time in the evenings than I used to though, and thats a huge bonus.

For craft day this week, we made paper towel butterflies. You fold the paper towel in fourths, and dip it in some colored water to make fun spots and lines,kind of the same concept as those snow flake things we used to make in grade school. Then you let it dry, and fold it together with some pipe cleaners. They actually fly pretty well.

Tuesday was Math Jeopardy night. Peyton was getting a bunch of them wrong, and complained it was much harder than the first time we did it. I tried to explain to him they were all the same problems except for the story problems, but he was beyond wanting any part of it at that point- and I think it made it worse when I told him he could do those problems two weeks ago. I didn't have the index cards to make all new problems, and I figured they wouldn't notice. Either way, they all ended up betting the whole shebang on final jeopardy. Hayden won, Peyton came in second and threw a fit like someone just told him he was grounded till Christmas, and Calib quietly came in third. I like to say Hayden is the reigning Jeopardy Winner, Peyton has become the reigning Jeopardy Whiner. I didn't even get the fit- not that I usually do from Peyton- but he wanted the three oreo cookies (the prizes are always a small treat- first place gets first pick, second place gets next choice, and last place gets whatever's left), and Hayden chose the chocolate and peanut butter chips, so he still got the cookies. I'm hoping he was just tired or something, we really have Math Night for Peyton, he has a hard time with it. Calib and Hayden are Math whizzes, Peyton's strength lies much more in Science. I just keep trying to come up with fun ways to get him to learn Math, I may have to keep searching.

Wednesday we all sat down to watch the Survivor Premier. Hayden actually joined us this time. He mostly just likes the challenges. He really doesn't get the other part of the game, and just says things like 'when are they going to pay another game?' Anyway, Hayden decided to root for the blue team, while the rest of us wanted the red team to win (we like the returning player on that tribe better). Peyton was super offended at Haydens joyous outbursts when the blue team won, and went on an outburst about 'Coach' (This guy we can't stand on that team). Hayden stared blankly at him and just said 'I like the color blue better than red'. Peyton threw his hands up in the air, like he couldn't believe the logic of Hayden- even though he's only 5. Those two, I tell you, we need an extra bedroom to separate them.

This week the boys and I made cookie dough dip. Here's the thing- I got this recipe because it doesn't have the raw egg in it that's so bad for you. But, I've been eating cookie dough as long as I can remember, and I've never gotten sick. The boys liked it, but it wasn't cookie dough-y enough for me. Apparently raw egg = deliciousness.

Friday Peyton went out with one of his friends from school, Ciara. Calib was over at his friend Casey's house, and Asa was working overtime so for awhile it was just me and Hayden- like old times! We got out Candyland, and though we haven't played it since Hayden's been at school, he still remembers how to cheat. Hayden Waterstraut, stacking the candy land deck since 2006. I'm always impressed how I get the gingerbread man (which sends you back to the beginning) just when I'm starting to get somewhere, he's just waiting to crush my hopes of ever winning the game. Anyway, Peyton and Ciara went out bowling. He came back and told Asa "I beat her both times!" And Asa said "Peyton, you're supposed to let the girl win, at least once". Peyton, the ladys man out of my boys, thinks really hard and then says "Shoot, I couldn't remember if I was supposed to let her win, or not".

Saturday we used our Aquarium pass for Swaptember again and went to the Lowry Park Zoo. They used to be a reciprocal with the Toledo Zoo, but they changed that a few months ago, so we haven't gone (if you can't go for free- why go?). The zoo with Asa is always entertaining. He compares Elephants throwing Hay around to Hayden eating spaghetti (pretty accurately) giving commentary from the elephants perspective, intimidates the Meerkats rubbing in the fact that he's taller than 12 inches, and making snakes chase his fingers while talking smack. Thats my husband, the superior mammal. The theme of our visit to the zoo: Poop. Every animal found the need to relieve themselves while we were watching them- penguins (who, fyi, don't mind swimming directly into their counterparts excretions), elephants, hippos, giraffes. Just gross- but the winner, by far, for the grossest is the Rhino. I don't know if it was the sheer mass of what was coming out, or the fact that there were two of them, standing together, going in the same pile. Gotta say, gross for me- but could not be funnier if your a boy under the age of 12. We ended the trip to the zoo with a run around the fountains. I always admire Haydens absolute disregard for getting his clothes wet in these situations. Does he know when we'll be home, how long he'll have to sit completely soaked? Does he know if I have a towel? If he's going to freeze later? No, he knows nothing, he just lays down in water forcibly squirting up between his back and his shirt. Oh, to be five. Filed under the 'things I learned at the zoo' category: Zebras stripes are also in their skin- shave a zebra and they still have stripes (I wonder how much the person had to drink that was like 'oh hey, lets shave that thing, and see if it still has stripes?) Also, pretty much every crane is named after a random object their beak resembles- spoon bill, shoe bill, saddle bill..

Now, heres the part where I talk Sports (so, you can skip this paragraph, it's totally ok, I didn't like football that much either until I knew Florida sports involved a pirate ship, and an awesome gator chomping action). We 're a football family in the fall, which I know is boring to a lot of people. I hate when my facebook newsfeed is initiated with Oh.... IO (Not impressed with the spelling of a four letter state) Go Blue annoyed me this week, because they played my Alma mater, EMU. And, lets face it, one of my kids flag football teams could beat Eastern Michigan. The biggest surprise when I saw the score on ESPN was that EMU actually are 2-1. Saturday we watched some awesome football, as the University of South Florida totally stomped on a nobody team, racking up 70 points. Plus, Ohio State lost, the Gators won and I love that.

Sunday we went over to Justins with a couple of people to watch the Bucs game. I was really worried how Peyton and Hayden would do entertaining themseleves long enough to not get bored over there, but everyone does a good job of playing with Hayden, and his toys, and Asa and Justin hooked up the Xbox for Peyton. Up side of watching the game at Justins: Asa really kept his emotions in check. Because the way the Bucs played in the first half would have gotten something broken/spilled/kicked in this house. It was an amazing comeback, and makes for an exciting second half, I just wish they played exciting football the whole game. Two more weeks till the Monday night game- I am stoked for it!

Mondays always keep me really busy, and I hate Mondays because something bad always happens- or theres so crap that unexpectedly needs taken care of. Yesterday was no different. Hayden's hermit crab died overnight. Peyton noticed this right away as he always feeds and waters the crabs in the morning. I told him to keep Hayden away from the cage, and not get his out like he usually does. He did a good job keeping Hayden occupied. Once I dropped them off at school, I headed over to the pet store and picked up a new crab. After Moose, I did not want to have to tell Hayden his hermit crab died. This is where I love having hermit crabs over any other pet- when Hayden got home he was SO excited his hermit crab had changed shells. *Phew* Although, whats the over/under on how many days until Peyton leaks news of the switch?

Anyway, I kept myself busy yesterday- I had blogging on my list of things to do, but I never got around to it, Mondays are just crazy I tell you- I didn't even sit down to eat lunch.

Other notable events this week:

Asa and I finished up watching The Office. I wish I knew someone like Dwight Schrute. Cuz, he is awesome. Also, now we can watch NBC commercials without closing our eyes, covering our ears and screaming 'don't look! don't look!' for fear of something being spoiled for us.

Peyton and Hayden used their hidden immunity idols to get out of cleaning. It was pretty epic. Not as awesome as when someone uses it on Survivor just when you think they are going to get voted off, but pretty close. Asa just started in 'Your room is a mess, you need to clean...." Peyton "WAIT WAIT! I'm using my immunity idol!" It was like his torch was about to get snuffed. Pretty awesome.

Funny Moments of the week:

Asa and I watching America's Funniest Home Videos, in which they had a segment about kids being surprised with a trip to Disney World. We called Peyton in to show him how 'normal kids react to going to Disney' (Peyton tends to argue about what park were going to, or how long we'll be in the car). He laughed a bunch and then said 'eh.. it's a long trip to get there'.

Peyton and Hayden in the bathtub, making themselves have bubble beards- Asa walks in, and Hayden says: What? We're just hanging out, pretending we have beers"

Injury Report:

1 Bee Sting (Calib)

1 Ball to the face (Calib in PE)

2 scrapped knees (Hayden's weekly PE occurrence)

1 landing in an ant hill (Hayden)

Funny Quotes of the week:

Calib: "Whats for dinner tonight"

Me: "Rumplestilskin" (Its a dish I made and let the boys name a long time ago)

Hayden: (totally serious): "We're eating the guy from Shrek?!?

Hayden: "Mom, it's kind of weird that Non-Fiction is real. Because it says Non. That seems like it isn't real. It has a non in it. That just doesn't make sense'

Hayden: "Hope you have a good day at work, dad"

Me: "What about me Hayden?"

Hayden" Have a good day at home. I hope you clean. I hope you do laundry"

Hayden: "I'm playing the impossible game- except it's even harder!"

Next Up: Leaving on a Jet Plane! We're going to OHIO! To see lots of family, go to halloweekends, drink some real apple cider and pick lots of apples to bring home. Color me excited to see fall!

Week 5: Tattle Monsters and Zombie Brains

It's been an up and down week around here, so here's some highlights and lowlights:

Hayden is learning about the different seasons at school. He told me 'pretty soon all the leaves were going to change colors and fall.' This is where I am confused. One- do they not talk about how we live in Florida, and these events like leaves changing color, and snow falling, and plants springing do not apply to us? Two- has Hayden noticed that in his lifetime this has never happened? Does he think this just occurs once every 5 years or so? Does he think because he went to school and learned about it, now the leaves will fall? Either way, trying to explain to him the climate of the country got to be a little much, I just told him he'll see the leaves changing color when he goes to Ohio the end of September. This will be his very first 'Fall' experience.

This week Calib and Peyton both have the exact same homework assignments. They are both having timed multiplication tests they have to complete with 100 percent accuracy in under a minute. They start with the 2's this week. I think this is disheartening for Peyton, because usually if Calib is getting something faster we can say things like 'well, it's a different subject', but we've lost our crutch. Now, what do you say? He's older? That only worked for like the first day. I tried. I did make a kite in which all the facts for two are on the bows, and hung it up by the dinner table so we can go over them at dinner. Then, we did the popsicle stick game this time with multiplication, and they had to put all the facts in the right numbered cup in under a minute. This seems to be helping- but the under a minute 100 percent accuracy has me worried.

Tuesday also saw the addition of Madden 12 to our game library. I like this time of year for only one reason: it makes Asa (and Calib) very happy. It's like Asa's premiere of Survivor. Otherwise, I hate this time of year. First off, EVERY SINGLE YEAR, Asa complains for the first couple weeks that he doesn't like the new Madden, and that it's a lot harder. Then in less than a month he's beating teams 9 bazillion to 3, and he's mad about the 3. And Secondly, he'll come tell me something some player did. 'LaGarrett just ran for a 97 yard TD' or something. If this were really football, I would care. But, it's Madden, and I don't. But, I love my husband so I smile, say how awesome that is and pretend to care-- until at least November. Then, I have to start the 'I love you, but....' conversation. (side funny note: he just read this paragraph and after he got through a bit of it he said 'but, I'm not complaining this year- you should have seen us get this first down, we ran for'- I told him to keep reading, his response 'Oh man, I just did it')

So, as stated above, I am quite the Survivor fan. I've watched every season faithfully since season 2. Next week, it starts again- (with Ozzy *gasp*!) I am skeptical that anything could top last season, but we'll see. In honor of this Wednesdays game was Hidden Immunity Idol Hunt. I made each of the boys an immunity idol out of construction paper, goog-a-lee eyes, a toilet paper roll, and various crafty things like pipe cleaners, felt, paint, and puff balls. May I say, they are AWESOME. Anyway, they each had three clues (two they had to locate) to find their hidden immunity idol. I even color coded their clue cards, and their hidden immunity idols so they wouldn't get confused. I have that much time on my hands, people. Anyway, their immunity idol can be used to get out of chores.. up until the final four. (hehee.. that was a Survivor reference right there). It was pretty epic, and I think we'll be doing it again, although maybe making some of the clues a little easier. One of Haydens clues was taped inside his book 'My truck is stuck'. I just heard him say "I think I have to look for a clue taped to one of my trucks

Wednesday was a crappy day around here. Our rabbit, Moose, died. He was a pretty awesome rabbit. We got him the week after my dad died and named him in honor of my dad's favorite animal- the Moose. The boys were pretty devastated. This was the first time I've seen Hayden cry over the death of anyone- I guess at 5 and a half he's starting to get death, unfortunately, thanks a lot 2010. He was very upset about not having a pet to feed anymore. Sometimes being a parent just sucks. I hated having to tell them about Moose. I mean on the scale of things, I've had to break a lot worse news to them, but it still sucks. Plus, I super loved Moose, and I'm really sad about it too- seeing them cry made me want to cry. I think after awhile we'll get a new rabbit. Even Asa who likes to put bans on ever getting pets again said we should. I think besides Phenom, Moose was the only pet Asa actually liked. Anyway, I hope theres a nice rabbit heaven somewhere for him. In high school I had a Theology teacher who told us animals don't go to heaven. What an awful teacher he was. I remember nothing else of that class just him being a total jerk about pet heaven. Screw you, Mr. Whatever your name was.

Wednesday also was Peyton's chorus auditions. He didn't make it. He said the Music Teacher told him his voice was too high. Come on, he's a nine year old boy, and you expect him to be a bass or something. Lame. He knew all the words, and I thought he sounded pretty good. I guess on the bright side I won't have to wake up early every Wednesday to take him to practice. After this, and the news about Moose Peyton declared it was the worst day ever, and asked if anything could make it worse. I refrained from telling him the reports that Peyton Manning would be out for the season. I figured it could go one of two ways- either he'd think it wasn't a big deal in light of the other crapiness of the day- or he'd go off the deep end (the more likely of the two).

Thursday we invented Smachos- its a hybrid of Nachos and Smores. Basically, you just break up the graham crackers, and throw some chocolate and marshmallows on top and put it under the broiler. Friday I made the tattle monster. He's made out of a kleenex box, construction paper, part of an egg carton, some googlie eyes, and some pipe cleaners. Instead of tattling on each other the boys write (or in Haydens case draw a picture) of the event that occurred instead of running to me and Asa to tattle on each other. This is awesome for a couple different reasons. First off, we don't have to listen to the pointless tattles on each other. Secondly, these can be pretty entertaining if read instead of heard in a whiny voice. Thirdly, these can be saved for scrapbooks, for a laugh later. Plus, as an added bonus the fact that Hayden can't really coherently write anything adds to the entertainment value. I especially enjoy the drawing of Peyton taking his toys. And, its pretty funny to see Calib write 'My brothers woke me up being loud at 10:47 on Saturday morning'. Really Calib? 10:47- and I'm supposed to feel bad about that. Either way, I highly recommend adding the tattle monster to your family. It's pretty awesome. I also made an organizer for all their school papers out of two cereal boxes, and some scrapbooking paper. I'm pretty handy like that.

This weekend was the start of Swaptember- where our aquarium pass gets us into MOSI (pretty much COSI for my Ohio friends) and the zoo for free. We went out to MOSI where Peyton served us a giant rubbery fake head of cauliflower (or, as Peyton called it 'zombie brains'), Calib laid on a bed of nails, and Hayden made some of the funnier shadow poses I'd ever seen. Oh to be that young and flexible. They have an awesome new ropes course there too, so I'm hoping to go back sometime this month to go through it. We were on a schedule, as we had tickets to the USF football game that night (we did make time to quickly stop by the butterfly house though).

The game was super fun. If you pay attention, you can get tickets pretty cheap. They can't be playing any big names though- we went and saw them beat the crap out of Ball State. USF scored on the opening kickoff, and they weren't even the kick returning team. I wish for the boys sake it would have been a little more exciting after that, but it was pretty much unanswered score after unanswered score. We left after the third quarter because Peyton and Hayden were getting squirmy and it was 38-0. I guess Ball State did end up scoring once. We had a good time, even if it was super hot out. We were all sweating buckets, and it was a 7pm game. I can't even imagine what it was like the next day for the Lions Bucs game at 1 pm. (They both play in Raymond James Stadium in Tampa).

Sunday we watched football all day- but unfortunately, the Bucs were blacked out. For you non football people- that means that the stadium didn't sell out, so they don't show it on TV for anyone who lives within something like 75 miles. I don't know the exact number because I am well inside of it (I live about 20 miles from the stadium). Luckily, this season we have NFL Red Zone which basically just shows the highlights of all the games around the league. It came with the package we got for Asa being a Verizon Employee where you got to add channels like Red Zone and HBO and your bill went down $40 a month. At least we got to see bits and pieces of the game even if they lost.

Sunday also, obviously, was September 11th. I guess the boys were learning all about it in school, which is odd. It's like a history lesson to them. Peyton was asking all kinds of questions about what that day was like, pretty weird he wasn't even around then- and Calib was just a baby. Ten years went by awfully fast.

All in all, not the best week around here- but they can't all be awesome, I suppose. Here's to a better week!

Next Up: Lowry Park and Open House

Week 4: Excuse the Mess, The Kids are Making Memories

This week found Hayden much more agreeable about school. We had a little whining early this week, and it slowly tapered off. He is making friends, and is really excited about seeing them everyday now. This started Monday when over the weekend he was talking about the kids in his class- in particular Austin and Olivia (Both Cartoon Character names, but don't worry, I checked it out, it's legit)- and 'the dude with the glasses'. Oh, and he also kept talking about how he was going to tell this kid, Caleb, in his class that he needed to change his name because it was too confusing for him having a classmate and a brother named Calib. (I convinced him that would be rude) However, I couldn't convince him calling some kid 'the dude in the glasses' was inappropriate. So, instead, I told him his top secret mission this week was to find out the kids name. He asked 'but how will I do that?' I told him just to ask, and he said 'well, what if the teacher is talking? I know, I'll just raise my hand and ask her what the dude in the glasses name is'. I tried to convince him this was also rather inappropriate, and Asa didn't help matters saying he didn't see a problem with it. He said the teacher would be amused. So, now I'm picturing Hayden in class, the teacher asking a question and Hayden raising his hand, completely blowing off whatever the lesson is and asking what the 'dude in the glasses' name is. *Sigh* Luckily, Calib saw him and asked his name while he was walking Hayden to class. Mystery Solved. Dude in the glasses = Ashton.

Also, Hayden's exact words "I like going to school to see what color bow Olivia is wearing in her hair. Sometimes she wears blue, and sometimes its green- but I really like it when she has a red bow' He also got invited to Olivia's birthday party next week, so he's pretty excited about that. Peyton talking to Hayden about Olivia: 'You should at least wait till first grade to tell a girl you like her- that's what I did'. Oh Peyton, the womanizer. All the girls LOVE him. Calib on the other hand, is a lot more shy. When I've gone to pick him up he's always talking to the same girl. I tried to talk to him about her- but I got nothing.

In other Hayden at school news- he's really funny about the green boat-yellow boat- red boat system they have for behavior. He's been on the green boat all but one day, though he gets in the car everyday and tells me immediately, very proudly 'I was on the green boat the WHOLE DAY!" He got on the yellow boat one day and Asa and I both told him how it was unacceptable. So, he knows the yellow boat is bad- and the red boat is REALLY bad. One day he came home and told me all about how a kid in his class kept breaking crayons.

Hayden: 'Oh my gosh, mom. A boy was breaking crayons and not listening- and he got on the RED BOAT!!' And then, he STILL didn't stop- so he had to go have a conversation in the bad, bad place."

Me: 'Whats the bad place'.

Hayden: "The principals office- DUN DUN DUN!'

We got into the full swing of homework this week. We're doing better this year than last. Calib had to make a small costume for his vocabulary parade, and actually came up with it all on his own. His word was robotics so he took two pieces of paper, rolled them together, added a flat piece folded on each end and figured that was robot enough. I was just happy not to have to help a bunch with it. I mean, sometimes the school really reaches on the appropriate project for the age group. They have 2nd graders doing full on science fair projects. Which pretty much means I'm doing them. Another thing that super bugs me is some of the ways they teach kids to do things. Calib is going to start long division this week. I taught him long division last year because they were doing this crazy grouping thing instead, and it made zero sense to me. Just teach long division and move on- holy moly! This week was more of the weirdo grouping. I didn't get it, or why they would do it that way. I know it's terrible but I actually used the phrase 'this is dumb- you will never need this'. Bad Parenting on my part, I suppose. At least next week will be super easy for him.

This week I made the jeopardy board for math night. Now, before you ask how I did that since I have three kids at different grade levels, everyone had their own color of cards, so the problems were different for each child. It was going pretty well until final jeopardy when Peyton bet pretty much the whole thing, and was the only one to get his final question wrong. From first to last- there was some screaming and crying. You'd think we'd thrown Mr. Bear in the shredder the way he was carrying on- All because his prize was twizzlers instead of sour patch kids. It's rough being 9. So you may think I'm nerdy for spending all this time on our jeopardy board- but I'll see your nerd and rise you a dork- because for a time limit we played 30 seconds of the jeopardy song for each question- and included the 'now entering the studios' introductions.

Lets continue on the nerdy path- I made a super secret spy maze in the hallway this week for the boys to try and climb through. Basically, you just use painters tape and strategically place it like it's laser beams from one side of the hallway to the other. It was pretty amusing watching them climb through it. They really liked climbing to one side, and then calling Porkchop, who would run through it no problem- after all he's super small. The smaller you are, the bigger advantage you have. And, well, the less clumsy you are (so, your deduction skills by now should tell you Calib was not too good at this game). I think next time we'll use ribbon instead of tape- reusable and all.

So what was I up to all week? Well, Asa worked from home, so I had a bunch of company. That was nice. We've been watching the office. We started it a couple weeks ago, because we don't have much to watch in the summer, and especially since I was gone for a month this summer- we didn't really get into anything. I have a new favorite show- except now I'm determined to finish it before the new season starts. So shhh.. Nobody tell me anything! I also stole a bunch of straws from Moe's, because the skinny straws you get at the grocery store just aren't as good. I spent my kohls cash, and made some homemade bread and stuff. Nothing too exciting. This week I think I may venture out of the house! Exciting times.

Friday is spirit day at school, and they have to wear green t-shirts. Well, they don't HAVE to, but whoever's class in the pod has the most kids wearing green shirts gets extra time on the playground for otter frenzy Friday. Here's the problem though: Calib and Peyton are in the same pod. Therefore, unless every kid in the class wears green (which never happens) one of my kids gets in the car and says 'I got playground today!' and the other one huffs and puffs. I told them if they kept on like this I would alternate green shirts between them, one week they'd get one, one week they wouldn't to help alternate who gets playground. I wouldn't actually do that, but shh.. don't tell them!

Earlier this week Justins jeep broke down, and he's in the process of fixing his car. This jeep breaks down frequently- so I asked Asa how many days until his jeep breaks again. I said 13, Asa said 5- and that we were playing price is right rules (don't ask me why he didn't go with the classic $1 then). When Justin stopped by on Friday, his jeep wouldn't start again. We both went over on our bids, time to rebid I suppose. Anyway, Hayden was telling Justin all about how he can help fix his car. "I have tools Justin. Screwdrivers. A flat head, and a sharp head"

We were supposed to go to New Orleans this weekend- but Tropical Storm Lee had other plans in store for us, so we had to come up with a back up plan staying at home. We finally got to use one of our groupons. If you don't use the site, I highly recommend it. For 15 bucks we went bowling, got a pizza, and 60 arcade tokens. Bowling with the boys defiantly has it pros and cons. Pro: Bumpers for everyone! (thus me bowling over 100) Cons: Hayden throwing around a 6 pound ball. (you have to watch out behind him) Pro: Wearing cute bowling shoes. (I love bowling shoes, I should have stolen some when I worked at Cedar Point a la Amy Petrey. Now I'm just old and it's unacceptable to do such things) Con: Everyones stinky socks in my purse afterwards (we live in FL, everyone wears flip flops). And, just as a disclaimer, just because I can't smell doesn't mean I don't mind stinky sweaty bowling socks in my purse. I do wonder when Hayden is going to go from his 'whoo hoo I knocked down ONE pin' to Peyton's attitude and stomp around when he doesn't get them all.

After bowling we went to adventure island. Sometime between the end of August and Labor Day pools around here cool down significantly. I have no idea how it happens- the air temperature is still set at 'miserable' and has not been moved down yet to 'plain old hot'. Peyton didn't even want to go in parts of it because of how cold the water was. Keep in mind this was FL cold, and certainly not Ohio cold, and not even close to Alaska cold. Regardless, we stayed awhile and then headed home for college football kick off, in which I made this http://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/2011/08/peanut-butter-cheese-ball.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FofLCo+%28The+Girl+Who+Ate+Everything%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

Dear God, go make this. Right now. Because it is close to the best thing I've ever made. Pair it with some apples to make yourself feel better. Anyway, college football is back- YAY! We switched between USF beating ND- Yay for my hometown team!- and the Gators looking like the Gators should. *Happily does Gator Chomp*

Sunday we headed out to Disney. Asa hadn't redeemed his pass yet though, so his will be good three weeks longer than ours. He's threatening to go without me during those three weeks, but I'm gonna go ahead now and call his bluff. We did finally get to meet Phineas and Ferb, in person. Phineas used his oddly triangular shaped head to boink Calib in his head though- Calib's response to Phineas's charade of apology (because he can't speak he just flailed his arms about) 'Ferb's my favorite now'. Hayden was super excited, because, well, he's five and he still thinks thats the real live Phineas and Ferb, not some grown up in a costume. However, this same excitement translated to terror when we saw the Lights, Motor, Action Stunt Show for the first time, and a guy caught on fire. Hayden's watching, wondering why everyone isn't more alarmed going 'Dude! Dude! Oh my gosh! Dude- that guys on fire- why isn't anyone helping him!?!?' Oh to be five. Hayden and I spent most of the day with characters while everyone else rode the ride. This quality time enabled Hayden to figure out he could do the 'up high... down low... to slow' thing successfully time and time again. They fell for it every time, he was amazed.

Sunday Calib also had another fantasy draft for Jeff's league. Because we were gone he had to be on autopick, and ended up with a really good team. I said I'm using this as a test- if his autopick team does better than his hand picked one, I'm staying with auto pick from now on. I'm so excited football season is almost here! Bad news though, we bought tickets to the Colts Bucs game specifically so my Peyton could go see Peyton Manning play- and now he may be injured and not even play. We haven't told Peyton yet, because we're really hoping a month from now it's a non-issue. I fear it will not be. I can't even imagine how upset he'll be. I got my tickets to see Brett Favre for week two, for fear of this same thing happening to me. Poor Peyton.

Monday was family fun fest, where our subdivision has all kinds of inflatable water slides, a rock climbing wall, and a BBQ set up. We were really worried it'd get cancelled due to rain, and although it looked pretty threatening at times, the sun was out most of the day. Asa has the sun burn to prove it- and I have the raccoon eyes from my sunglasses.

Big Events of the week:

Hayden showered himself- without any help at all. Here was his take on it: 'I showered all by myself. I got the water on, I put shampoo in my hair, I spun around, and I used the girly thing' (aka the lufa)

My phone was resurrected after falling out of my pocket and into the toilet at Disney World. Yes, I reached in to get it. I had to- it was my phone! It didn't work at first, but Asa worked some magic on it (after telling me how I'm not allowed to own electronics anymore) and now despite a bit of a water logged screen, it seems to be back in order. No harm. No foul.

Up Next: It's Swaptember and Football!