Week 3: Alligator Funerals and Carly's Pooping Virus

This week, I have much less exciting things to report, despite my riveting title. With the boys at school, and a lazy weekend to follow it wasn't a very exciting week around here.

If you missed my facebook update on how much Hayden is liking school, here's how it went:

Hayden day 1 of kindergarten- 'It's awesome!'

Hayden day 2 of kindergarten- 'It's ok'

Hayden day 3 of kindergarten- 'I hate school'

Hayden day 4 of kindergarten- 'Please don't make me go to school, I want to stay home with you forever'

Hayden day 5 of kindergarten- 'I'm serious, I'm not going to school ever again' (insert crying here- and for extra dramatic effect, kicking and laying on the floor)

I'm hoping these issues work themselves out soon rather than later. Calib attempted bribery, promising to buy Hayden a hermit crab if Hayden straightened up and went to school without whining. (This was day 3- as you can see, it didn't work). I said I would have a sleepover, and sleep on the trundle in their room on Friday if he was good. Asa found this to be a horrible idea, as I would be treating the separation anxiety by spending even more time with him. But, then he found it to be a good idea as he thought about getting to sleep in the middle of the bed. Either way, it was a no go.

Calib had a good first week. He's the top of the school being in 5th grade and all. I told him to enjoy it while it lasts, because next year he'll find himself at the bottom of the totem pole. He applied to be in safety patrol. Apparently, bright orange sashes mean you're super cool. Who would have thought? Peyton seems to like his class, but thats probably because the homework hasn't started yet. Oh man, if there is anything I'm dreading it's doing homework with Peyton again. This requires a super large amount of patience, and my patience bar has been depleted since that hugely long summer vacation we took.

We did use our newly constructed noise meter this week. I have found the noise meter does directly correlate with how much advil I need to take. We have four stages: Loud (reserved for Rock Band, and Light Saber Fights), Inside Voice, Whisper (which as we all know Asa does not know how to do- I guess if you have to have one fault this is not a bad one to have), and Quiet (for homework, and bedtime). Speaking of bedtime, I also had to mix up some super special good dream spray for Hayden. I will share with you my super secret recipe, but I warn you, it is most complicated. Ok, here it is. It's one part fabreeze, one part construction paper label. But, it keeps away zombies, ghosts, monsters, vampires, and bad dreams. 98 and 3/4 Percent Guaranteed.

I have come up with a weekly schedule, like we had for the summer. Just because they have school there's no reason to stop with the arts and crafts. (Look, my time with them and these sort of things are limited, they won't want to do them forever, I have to take advantage of it while it lasts). Monday we made bouncy balls (which I think I talked about in last weeks blog), anyway, that's craft night. Tuesday is Math Skills Night. We had all kinds of dixie cups lined up with numbers on them, and popsicle sticks with problems on them. They had to place the right popsicle stick in the right cup. Originally, Peyton was all whiney. But, when the reward was a miniature marshmallow for every couple you had correct, he got right on board.

Wednesday is game night. I wanted to play chalk squares, where you draw a huge board of squares, everyone starts on one and as you step to a new one you X out your old square. You can't move where the X's are, so the last person left with moves wins. I told Asa we should move the cars so we could do it in our driveway, but then Asa said we should just do it next door, since that house has gone into foreclosure- yay for the Florida Economy coming in handy once. Calib won, only because Asa helped him though. The boys have been waiting for it to rain since Wednesday so that it would wash away and we could play again. We finally got one of those trademark afternoon rains yesterday. Thursday is baking night. We made dirt, complete with oreo's and gummy worms (trust me, it's much more appealing than it sounds), and Friday is movie night. We watched Hoodwinked 2. Talk about a sequel that flopped. I think rotten tomatoes had it at like a 38 percent. I think that was a little high.

How was my week you ask? It was alright. The amount of things I can get done in a day are amazing. Monday by lunch time I had so much cleaning done and things accomplished I could hardly believe it. By Friday afternoon I was terribly bored, and was getting suggestions from everyone on what I should do. Rachel Benson wins for that one, next time I'm that bored I'll be making clay versions of my family, and making a video. Stay tuned for that one. I promise it'll be more entertaining than Hoodwinked 2.

Which brings me to the weekend. Originally the models had the hurricane coming our way. I was pretty sure it wouldn't though, because I'm basically hurricane repellent. When I moved here everyone said 'You're going to get swept away in a hurricane' or 'A gator is going to eat your kids'. Well, at this point both of them seem equally as likely, because neither one of them has come even close to happening. When the hurricane took the very predictable turn, we thought maybe we could go to Disney this weekend. But, early Saturday morning when I got online to check the weather, we were under severe weather. But not due to a storm, or anything like that. Oh no. This is Florida, in August. It was a heat advisory telling us 'dangerous heat index. outdoor exposure should be limited'. I am all for Disney, but not in 110 degree heat with 95 percent humidity.

So, it turned into a lazy weekend. This is good for a couple of reasons. 1. Asa needs one of those every once in awhile. 2. We have weekend plans until October. We called our friend Brandy out in Oregon for her birthday last week, and she was talking about coming to visit again (Which would be super fun- book your ticket now!) Asa told her I have us booked up until 2014 so she better start planning her wedding soon, otherwise we won't be able to make it. Which is inaccurate because A. To my knowledge, Brandy has not found her special someone yet. and B. I could rearrange my schedule for her! But, Asa's point ( to him at least) remains valid. We usually have plans for a couple weeks- or months - out. What can I say? I'm a planner.

We did go to the pool Saturday, where we lost someone very near and dear to all of us. Mr. Inflatable Alligator is no longer with us. He sprung a leak at approximately 3:55 pm and there was no reinflating him. He went peacefully though. Official cause of death is listed as natural causes. He was over 16 months old, after all. Thats at least 80 in inflatable raft years. Asa said we should take him home and cook him for dinner, I said the meat may be a little rubbery, so we decided to give him the proper burial he deserved. We picked out a nice spot in the trash can on the pool deck.We had a moment of silence for him. Hayden said a few words 'My favorite memory was riding Mr. Alligator around in the pool' RIP Mr. Alligator 2010-2011.

After our traumatizing event at the pool, we went over to Justin's for dinner. It was super official, instead of just calling us to invite us over, he made a facebook event and everything, complete with a picture of what was in his fridge. He did make the mistake of letting Asa cook the bacon burgers.

The conversation went something like this:

Justin: 'When you said wrap the burgers in bacon, you really meant wrap the WHOLE burger in bacon'

Me: 'Yea, you gotta watch him with the bacon usage, he'll use the whole package if you don't monitor it. You really should know better Justin'

We also got to play a game of catan, in which I did not win, and Asa did not throw any pieces. There may be a correlation between the two. Then we played munchkin. If you don't play this game, you should consider yourself lucky. I'm pretty confident friendships have been broken and divorces have been initiated due to this game. Even worse, Carly once made the pooping virus card, in which you have to give all your cards in use to the person to your left. Fortunately for Asa (who was sitting next to the poop virus host, aka Calib) 11 year olds are not very good at keeping secrets. Asa quickly sold his soul for a wishing ring to protect himself from this curse, and no tables were over turned. At one point though, Calib drew a card that would have had him win the game, but did not read it correctly to know thats what would happen, so we continued on. In the end I bluffed my way using deadly deathful death threats to making Asa and I co-winners. Just like in life, and we dodge the divorce bullet yet again. Phew. Thats good. I wouldn't have had the $360 to file till Friday anyway.

Fun side note: while we were playing this Peyton was playing star wars on Justin's Xbox, and Hayden was pretending to move pillows with his hands (because, the force was with him). He would move his hands around, then quickly throw the pillow when he thought nobody was looking. It was pretty entertaining.

Today we were going to go to Adventure Island, but Hayden seems to have come down with a bit of a cold. Con: Hayden not feeling well. Pro: Maybe I won't be alone tomorrow and I'll have a sick kid to cuddle with. Ok, not really, I'll make him go to school, and I don't actually want him to be sick. Hopefully he feels better in the morning. And, I won't be alone with week because Asa gets to work from home. YAY!

The most exciting event today was the great Bathroom/Bedroom Flood of 2011 caused by Hurricane Hayden in the bathtub. It was a 6-towel clean up job. Calib also picked Philip River's first in the fantasy league he's in with Asa and some people from Asa's work. (For those of you who don't know- and if you know Asa I don't know how you don't know- he's obsessed with Philip Rivers. So much so, the guy made it into our wedding vows.) I believe I see either a trade, or some grounding, in Calib's future.

I have no pictures for this week. I actually don't think I took any this week. Taking a picture everyday is not on my list like it was last year, so I don't think about it as much. My list is coming along well though. I made some new recipes this week, finished a book, and killed it on yoshi tetris.

I'll leave you with a conversation I had with Peyton tonight. Ever the kind child about my age, that one:

Peyton: When was the Super Nintendo made?

Me: Oh, I don't know, a while ago.

Peyton: Yea, like the 1980's, or something? Was it that long ag0? Because that's a really long time ago.

Me: Really Peyton?

Peyton: Oh, I mean, I know you were born in the 1980s, but it was still a long time ago.

Me: Really? This conversation is still going?

Peyton: (realizing perhaps he's calling me old) Well, at least Uncle Cort and Uncle Clint will always be older than you. They're REALLY old. Uncle Clint's even losing some hair!

Up Next: Vocabulary Parades, Ice Cream Buckets, and Giant Inflatable Slides Oh My!