I might have *some* George Washington items.
And, I even made sure to have my morning coffee in Asa''s Mount Vernon mug.
If you want to check Washington out from our last go around, you can do that too. Or you can always check out that time we visited Mount Vernon.
Alright, here we go- keep your eyes peeled for cameos!
2020 Edition
Two-hundred and eighty-five years ago somewhere around today, the future 1st president of the United States of America was born. See, between the time George was born, and today, we switched our calendar from Julian to Gregorian, and everyone had to move their birthdays. Does it really matter though, we always celebrate Washington’s birthday on the third Monday of February.
The father of our country grew up on a farm in Colonial Virginia, with a couple of much older half brothers and his parents. Little George hiked seven miles to school every day until he was 12, earning himself the equivalent of an 8th grade education.
He likely would have followed his brothers to Great Britain, where they were sent to get a better education, but when George was just 11, his father died and his mom needed help on the farm. Naturally, George would be the man of the house, and as such his father left George 10 slaves, just what every 11 year old needs!
But with his dad kicking the bucket, there’d be no fancy pants British education for George. Instead, he spent his time in the great outdoors, tending the land, and fishing. He was a kid of the wild frontier!
George was closest to his brother Lawrence, who was 14 years older than him. Lawrence, was an officer in the British Army and he was just about to hook George up with a job as a midshipman in the British navy, when their mom was like “yea, I don’t think so!” George was crushed.
But Lawrence would come back later with another offer, his in-laws had just bought a bunch of land, and needed someone to survey it. You see in those days, you’d buy some land and then if you were rich, you’d pay someone to explore it for you and report back.
So George packs his portable sundial, and heads out with his fellow surveyors to hike and measure, and detailed it all in “A Journal of My Journey Over the Mountains.” Day 2: Nothing Remarkable Happened. Day 3: I admired some sugar trees. Sounds like not a bad, gig right?
He detailed about other less than pleasant encounters: heavy rain resulted in an extremely high Potomac, and he had to swim across it with his horses. He also ran into some nasty will turkey and rattle snakes.
Then of course there were the Indians. Lucky for him, these guys were friendly. I mean, weren’t most of them until we started taking advantage of their hospitality? I do have a Native American George Washington quote for you, “You do well to wish to learn our arts and ways of life, and above all, the religion of Jesus Christ. These will make you greater and happier people than you are.” I mean, I guess he meant well, but whole crap, elitist white guy much?
When George was finished with Lawrence’s in-laws land he moved on to the whole county of Culpeper, Virginia.
Well, after a brief trip to Barbados, the only foreign country he would ever visit, where he went with Lawrence to try and stave off his brother’s tuberculous, but while there, George caught small pox. Lucky for him, once he caught it and beat it, he was immune to it. But, unlucky for Lawrence, Barbados didn’t cure him. He died, and George inherited Lawrence’s plot of land: Mount Vernon.
Anyway, once back home, George was paid a lot of money for his surveying, and he gained the valuable 1700’s skill of being able to identify and select the best plots of land for purchase.
George was a damn good surveyor, and the other guys he worked with liked him they often talked to the legendary surveyor, George Washington. Word got around, especially to the Lieutenant Governor of Virginia, who invited George to join the militia.
And Ta da! A military career was born. George became a leader within the Virginia militia fighting in the French Indian War in the west. Despite the name, this war was mostly against the French and the British, just each of the European guys had their own Indian tribe allies.
At just 21, George was sent to Ohio to lead a British colonial force to fend off the French. This is interesting, because before fighting against the British, he fought FOR the British.
And just to add on to Washington’s skills: he even designed the Virginia militia’s uniforms. (He did love his uniform, the guy always would wear it any chance he got). This guy can do it all.
George took his impressive resume: surveyor, small pox survivor, war veteran, fashion designer, and used it to get himself elected to the Virginia legislature. No country existed yet, but the colonies had their own government of shorts.
The House of Burgesses was the first democratically elected legislative body in the British American colonies. Things were coming together for George, but he still hadn’t found his person to do life with.
Well, he kind of had. His first love was the one, the only Sally Fairfax. Sally was George’s neighbor, but so was Sally’s husband, who was also George’s friend. So Sally was off the table. Off George was to find a more practical wife, you know, one that wasn’t currently married.
Previously married was cool though. Enter: Martha Dandrige Custis.
Martha didn’t have much in the way of formal schooling. But she always had lots of questions and a quick mind. Her curriculum focused on the main purpose of a woman in the 18th century: how to find a husband, have some heirs, and be a good house wife.
By those standards, Martha was a catch.
She was a domestic powerhouse, as the oldest daughter in her family she helped run a 500 acre plantation and knew what she was doing. She was capable in business dealings, and had a kind and agreeable nature. Fond of polite conversation, music, and nice clothes ordered from England, by the time she was 15 her parents were parading her out to all the eligible bachelors of Williamsburg.
The winner of Martha’s affections? Why that would be Daniel Parke Custis, a rich planter. He’s loved by everyone, cheerful and considerate, and just wanted a simple normal, peaceful existence. It sounded good to Martha, even if he was 20 years older than her--- AND HER GODFATHER!
Daniel’s parents don’t love Martha, they think she’s a gold digger, but the couple get married and have four kids. In true late 1700’s fashion, two of them die at a young age, leaving just Jacky and Patsy.
And then, Daniel dies too. Leaving Martha as a 26 year old widow with two kids to raise, 1,700 acres to run, and 300 slaves to oversee all by herself.
So it makes sense why she was on the hunt for husband number two pretty quickly. When she spots George, she see’s star quality husband material: He’s a solider, an outstanding horseman, brave, well-behaved, tall, and young! George is a whopping 9 months younger than her, so he’s unlikely to keel over dead soon!
He’s not terrible on the eyes, he literally stood out from a crowd. At 6’2”, he’s at least a foot taller than Martha. But no worries, she’ll just pull on his lapels to bring his face close to hers when she wants to talk. He’s got reddish blond hair, big muscles (weighs in at 200 pounds), and big feet (a size 13!) His face is scarred from small pox, and he has terrible teeth. But nobody’s perfect.
The only problems with George are 1. He’s in love with Sally Fairfax (but we can overlook that), and 2. He’s a relatively poor militia colonel. Bravery doesn’t pad the pocketbook.
But, that’s no worries for Martha, because her husband has left her a ton of money and land. This time around George could be the gold digger. In fact, George probably never would have been president without Martha’s vast property holdings, secured income and reputation.
So George and Martha get married, and as a result George adds all her land to Mount Vernon and now has something like 50,000 acres, and with all his land holdings, George Washington ends up as a the 1st millionaire in the United States.
The Washington’s never have any kids of their own, something that would also propel George into the presidency. I mean, a guy can’t want to be king if he has no heirs! By all accounts, George was probably sterile thanks to the simultaneous combo diseases of malaria and small pox when he was 17. But, he did adopt Jacky and Patsy as his own.
Of course, life isn’t perfect. The Colonists are sick of Britain’s rules and they’re ready to rebel. Britain can’t just tax them without representation. So here we go, it’s Revolutionary War time. The Red Coats are coming!
Martha sends George off in 1775 to the Continental Congress, and then finds out later her 44-year-old husband just happened to be appointed Commander of the Rebel Army. George hadn’t so much as consulted with her first. Immediately after his appointment in Philadelphia, he heads off to Boston to take command of the American forces.
But as Martha does, she’s going to put on a brace face and do what she can to be supportive. So now we have George Washington as Commander in Chief of the Continental Army, where his love of the outdoors will help him help himself and help his men deal with the harsh conditions the Continental Army would face.
On April 19, 1775, the Battles of Lexington and Concord signaled the start of the Revolutionary War. It’s here we have the “shot heard round the world”.
Of course, he led guys across the frozen Delaware River, sneak attacking the army of German soldiers hired by the British. They never saw it coming, because, well, what crazy person would cross that river in the dead of winter? General George Washington, that’s who. And this victory turns the tide of the war.
George also earned the respect of his soldiers. He was never found hiding in the back a la George McClellan.
He helped construct makeshift forts during the long and wet Pennsylvania winters. See: Valley Forge. He overcame heartbreaking difficulties to further the American cause.
Through all the harsh conditions, General George Washington performed heroically. And Martha was something to write home about too, also worth noting: Martha has now taught herself how to read and write so she can write home! George was big on writing letters at this point, in fact he wrote more letters than any other president (we don’t have a lot of them, because Martha had a practice of burning their correspondence, much to the frustration of historians).
But, she wouldn’t just write letters to keep in contact with George. Martha would travel up and down the east coast with her trunk in tow just to see her husband during the War.
It was a long, uncomfortable, dangerous trip, but she felt seeing him was worth risking her safety. After all, George wasn’t stopping at home. In fact, during the whole war, over the course of SEVEN years (1775-1782), he showed up to Mount Vernon exactly once, for two whole days.
So Martha would come to his camps, and once she was there, she made herself useful. She would tend to the sick, and even fixed soldiers uniforms. Martha had legendary needlework skills after all. But she also did whatever she could to be helpful to George, including working as his clerk, copying down his notes, and keeping military secrets safe.
George was a great Commander, but he also had a temper. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows with him. At the Battle of Kip’s Bay, the Connecticut militia retreated from British without firing a shot, and George Washington was pissed at their lack of effort. He exploded with fury, threw his hat to the ground, swore till he was blue in the face (because George was a 1st rate curser), and started cane whipping everyone in reach. It was a missed opportunity, and Washington quickly fired the guy responsible.
But, Washington had a lot going for him. Everyone was always struck by his integrity, and his personal code of right and wrong. Plus, he commands respect; people just follow him. He never lost his army, even when they were underfed and underpaid. We probably couldn’t have won the thing without him… well, without him and alcohol.
As much as everyone likes to say the American’s beat the British, we did have a little help from our friends, or rather, enemies of the British: the French. George had to meet with the leader of the French forces on occasion, but he didn’t speak any English, and George didn’t speak any French.
So they needed a translator, and that came to them in the form of Major General of the French Army, Francois Jean de Chaslellux (name not important, thank God). The three men relied on a universal language to form a bond: drinking buddies! George was a beer and rum guy, but the French introduced him to some fancy pants wine he also enjoyed. They toasted each other when in 1781, General Cornwallis Surrendered in Yorktown, effectively ending the Revolutionary War.
Now that we’ve had a Revolution, we’re going to have to figure out how to run this new country of ours. So everyone schedules a meet up for 1787 at the Constitutional Convention.
Note: a few guys are noticably absent
George Washington led the Convention that helped create our Democratic Government, the 3 branches of government, and the first cabinet of advisors. His presence there and firm support of the Constitution were crucial to their new experimental government that would launch in 1789.
But that new government is going to need a leader, so now we come to the Election of 1789, which is hardly an election at all. There would be no primaries, no Andrew Jackson lobbied- for conventions, no giant Trump style campaign rallies, no “Tippecanoe and Tyler too” slogans, no Nixon and JFK televised debates, and no political ads inundating American’s non-existent TVS.
There would not even be any “everyday Americans” voting. In fact our first election might have been the easiest, smoothest sailing, election in American History, but it was thoroughly undemocratic.
Without a popular vote showing up until 1824, when JQA will face off against Andrew Jackson, we’re going solely on the electorate votes here.
Here’s how it works, each state that has ratified the Constitution will get electors to cast their votes. How many? Well, you get as many electors as you have Representatives and Senators combined. And you know what? We’re not even going to tell you how to choose those people who will be your electors! Every state can choose them however they want! State’s rights, yay!
Collectively all those people, or electorates, are going to be called the Electoral College. The idea is we’ll have the best of the best selecting our president.
Each one of those electorates are going to cast not one, but TWO votes, but those two votes have to be for two different people. The guy with the most votes will be president (though we haven’t decided that’s what we’re going to call him yet!) and the guy with the second most votes will be Vice-President. Easy peasy.
Except, that whole first place finisher and second place finisher being in office together will later prove to be a problem. Can you imagine our state of affairs if Hillary Clinton were Donald Trump’s Vice President?
It will later become extremely controversial, and the rules are going to have to be changed. Luckily for us, the founding fathers didn’t make an iron clad Constitution. It allows for amendments, or changes over time. That whole thing will be modified with the 12th amendment in 1804 when Thomas Jefferson is president.
But for now, everyone knows George Washington is going to be president, and it’s no bigs. There’s only loosely based political groups, but they all supported Washington, the whole position of president was written into the Constitution by the Founding Fathers with him in mind. Washington was the only guy who wasn’t so sure.
After the war, Washington’s name became synonymous with independence. Of course he was going to be the patriarch of the new embryonic country!
The only person not sold on Washington, was Washington. At 56, he figured he was “past his prime”. Alexander Hamilton and James Madison teamed up to convince him that the country he helped form needed him.
Washington would do it, because that’s what everyone wanted, and he didn’t want to see the country he fought so hard for fail. He felt a sense of duty to the county, so he agreed, but he wouldn’t be happy about it: “My movement to the chair of government will be accompanied by feelings not unlike those of a culprit who is going to the place of his execution.”
Only 10 of the 11 states cast their votes, in the only election in US History that spanned two years (December 1788 thru January 1789). You couldn’t just cast your ballot and report it on an app back then, after all. It took a minute to organize the whole thing and get the votes back.
All 69 electoral first place votes went for George Washington, the only guy ever elected unanimously. Before smear campaigns, hanging chads, and super Pacs, elections were a clean, sober, dignified business.
Second place is where you find the shenanigans. John Adams look like he might be the winner, and Alexander Hamilton is not a fan. So Hamilton urges electors to “waste” their votes on candidates not in the running, to try and keep John Adams from office.
But John Adams would get 34 votes for second place. Hamilton didn’t keep him from office, but John Adams was not happy. He was embarrassed by *only* getting 34, and he was not a fan of what he called “the most insignificant office that has ever been.”
First of all the job description for Vice President was simple: if the president dies, you’re up, and you also get to be President of the Senate. (At least John Adams got his money’s worth here: he cast 29 tie votes, which still stands as the most tie Senate votes a Vice President has ever had to make).
But John Adams was like the only guy in America who was wildly jealous of George Washington, instead of deifying him like everyone else.
So John Adams pouts in a corner that he’s not president as he mumbled about George Washington only being president because he was taller than anyone else in the room. He had Washington envy.
It’s logically a good match, though: Washington was the premier soldier and general of the Continental Army, and John Adams was the premier diplomat representing America in Europe. You had the best war guy and the best diplomat guy.
But what works in theory, doesn’t always work in practice. John Adams and George Washington would not have an Obama/Biden relationship. Washington found Adams annoyingly opinionated and hardly ever saw him, or consulted with him. Adams, meanwhile, is, and forever will be, annoyed at Washington’s Demi-god status.
Washington headed off to New York City after he was elected, because New York City is the temporary capital of the country, the White House hasn’t even been built yet. We’ll move to Philadelphia, later, and then after that D.C. (Washington won’t ever make it to DC and will be the only president not to live in the White House).
He was given a grand send off from Mount Vernon as well wishers lined the street throwing flowers at him. Everywhere along his journey he was meant with salutes, flags, parades, toasts, ovations, cheers, and *gasp* even handshakes.
See, Washington hates handshakes. He’s basically my spirit animal. He’s an introvert, and he hates to leave Mount Vernon, it’s the only place he really feels at home. He’s noticeably reserved, he’s not a guys guy you go have a beer with. But he’ll be friendly enough. His motto is: “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few.”
If he’s upset with you, you’ll know. He communicates by silence and frowns, and he does have a temper, but he puts a lot of energy into controlling it. When asked to do something (i.e the presidency), he always followed through.
But he’d still prefer to spend time with all his animals than any people. He loved his dogs: sweetlips, madame moose, Vulcan, and true love. He loved to breed various kinds of dogs, searching for the most superior dog with speed and brains. In fact, he’s credited with breeding his tan and black hounds and creating the American Foxhound. He adored his horses so much he had his teeth brushed every morning, and spent a fortune on leopard skinned robes for them.
His hobbies included playing cards, eating good food, drinking nice wine, and he loved the theater.
And all that fan fare? The parades, the flowers, the toasts, well George hates it. He’s the first to disappear under too much praise. Once he figured out people liked to “announce” the president, he made sure to be in the room before they could do such a thing. He was acutely aware everyone was watching him, and everything he did.
He also was acutely aware that he was going to need some cash to get to his own inauguration. Without a president and a fully functioning government, some things, like solider pay had fallen through the cracks. Washington was land rich, but cash poor. He still hadn’t been reimbursed for his Revolutionary War Expenses, so he had to bum a Ben Franklin off one of his friends (of course, it wasn’t a Ben Franklin yet. You have to be dead to be on money, it’s a rule. But you get the point.)
On April 30, 1789, Washington was ferried across the Hudson river, and sworn in as the very first president of the United States, before giving the first inaugural address, which was also his idea. He didn’t write it though, if there was one thing Washington was insecure about it was his level of education. Since he always preferred action to books, he wasn’t a scholarly stand out. (And he was a terrible speller to boot). Good thing some of his friends had him covered; James Madison might be president number 4, but he wrote the first inaugural address.
There was much discussion about what to call the new leader. John Adams wanted to some big elaborate title. But they settled on “His Mightiness the President”, George isn’t super formal though, you can just call him President.
In fact, both of the Washington’s tried very hard to strike a balance of not being too formal, or too chill. It was hard for Martha, being a southern dame, not to look too much like royalty. She enjoyed “fine living”. Her extravagant clothes, and gilded coach made her feel more like an official dignitary, but her charitable demeanor and role of happy homemaker gave off an aurora of domestic simplicity. Martha liked to call herself an “old fashioned Virginia housekeeper”, but if you had to give her a title too, you can just call her “Lady Washington.”
She was also was known around DC for hosting some elite tea parties. George would show up, mostly to flirt with the ladies, but everyone was impressed by him (especially Abigail Adams, which must have just annoyed the piss out of John Adams). George did have an eye for the ladies, after all. 18 year old George Washington went skinny dipping in rivers with the ladies, and his early diary was mostly about how women looked in their ballgowns.
Martha was an excellent Entertainer in Chief. She didn’t just host tea parties, dinner parties were her specialty. She often hosted them in “drawing rooms” instead of formal dining areas to give them a more relaxed feel. But, she still liked to pull out her prized China, which featured 15 “states”.
George and Martha weren’t really stuffy people, though, and some of the Congressman (including Thomas Jefferson) thought they weren’t regal enough. Some people thought they were hicks!
You’d think for the most part, Martha would be eating up her new role, but she was just as reluctant as George, her “Papa” as she called him. She also had a nickname for her new job: “state prisoner”. But she put on her big girl pants and a brave face and did her “duty”, as she saw it. She hosted dinners, greeted the public, and had a soft spot for Revolutionary War Vets who just loved her.
It seemed like she had just gotten George back from the War, and she would have preferred to live out a quiet retirement with him at Mount Vernon.
But here was George, president, and he was a busy guy. He’s up at dawn every morning, to shave and powder his wig if it’s going to be a particularly formal day, and ties it all back with a ribbon. He’ll have breakfast: 3 buttered cornmeal cakes smothered in honey and 3 cups of tea. He spends his day in meetings, but might make some time for dinner of Martha’s specialty: crabmeat soup, and there will always be room for ice cream (in the summer of 1790, he’ll spend $200 on ice cream alone!) But mostly, he’ll be working on the general formation of the government.
First of all, the Constitution still needed a bit of work, so he oversaw the first ten amendments: aka, the Bill of Rights.
We have the first amendment: you know, freedom of speech, religion, peaceable assembly and all that jazz. It’s like how people get to be assholes on Twitter and get away with it. Hey, I have freedom of speech man!
Then there’s the other Twitter argument of the controversial 2nd amendment, the right to bare and keep arms. Hey! Those Democrats are trying to take our guns!
Of course, then there’s the ones that we kind of take for granted. Like, the government can’t just randomly come in and search your home (3rd), and unreasonably search & seizure your property (4th).
People in the 1790s must have gotten in a lot of trouble. Amendments 5 through 8 cover all your rights there: trial by jury, double jeopardy, speedy trial, and no cruel and unusual punishment.
Just in case they left something out, they covered their asses with the 9th amendment. It says that just because specific rights have not been spelled out in the Constitution doesn’t mean that the people don’t have those rights.
And finally we round out the Bill of Rights with Amendment number 10, that says the Federal powers have been laid out in the Constitution, and if it’s not in there, then it’s up to the states, or the people to decide.
Beyond the Bill of Rights, Washington had to figure out our relationship with the Brits. We had just broken up with them, but we didn’t want to ghost them. We might need them later!
As a new country we needed to figure out a lot of things, like a national currency. The euro of the United States if you will. Washington designated the dollar as our official currency, and created the United States mint to print the money. Washington also had to oversee the formation of the national bank, as proposed by Alexander Hamilton.
Alexander Hamilton, of Hamilton fame, was Secretary of the Treasury under Washington. If you recall, Hamilton and John Adams were not BFF’s, but that’s not the only guy who didn’t get along with him. Washington’s Secretary of State was a guy you might have heard of: one, Thomas Jefferson. TJ and Hamilton were like quarreling children Washington had to appease and separate as need be to keep the peace. He was their glorified referee.
In one corner, we have Alexander Hamilton, who despite coming from rather humble beginnings, doesn’t trust the “common man” one bit. He wants to support the merchants, banks and manufacturers, with a strong firm handed central government. You can call him a Federalist.
In the other corner we have Thomas Jefferson, who, despite coming from wealth and prestige, believed in the power of the regular Joe Schmo. You know how he loved farming, I mean, remember Monticello? He was hoping to form an agrarian society, and is working for the farmers. He thinks Hamilton’s view is way off base, and puts too much power in too few hands. Jefferson is a state’s rights kind of guy. You can call them whatever you want. Some call them Jeffersonian Republicans, some say Democratic-Republicans.
And now we have something that the Constitution didn’t bargain for, political parties. Both parties eventually become extinct and morph into other parties. But, hindsight is pretty clear on the winning party.
The Democratic-Republicans were formed by Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and James Monroe, three guys who all each become 2 term presidents, accounting for 24 years of American history.
While the Federalists are guys like Alexander Hamilton, John Adams, Charles Pinckney, DeWitt Clinton, and Rufus King. One of those guys becomes a one term president, one dies in a duel against TJ’s Vice President, and the other three guys will have four presidential loses between them. They will not be considered historical winners.
But those are spoilers, today we’re focused on Washington’s part in all this. After his first term as president, he was ready to head back to Mount Vernon, but if he steps down his quarreling children, Hamilton and Jefferson will be a problem.
The one thing Hamilton and Jefferson ever agree on is support for George Washington to serve another term. Everyone didn’t love everything he did. Jefferson disagreed with him politically, James Monroe called George “insane”, and John Adams was always irked by Washington’s fame and popularity. But they do all agree he’s the man for the job.
Again, the only guy not sold on a second go around is Washington himself. In fact, he tells his buddy, current Congressman, James Madison to go ahead and prepare some remarks to announce he’s leaving the presidency. He thinks he’s getting way too old for this shit with poor health and a declining memory, but James Madison convinces him to give it one more go.
Washington decides it’s just better if he keeps on keeping on, instead of TJ and Hamilton duking it out. He’ll run one more time, to be a unifying figure. He feels like this country is his baby now, and he has to see it off to a good start.
So onward we go to another “election”. The election of 1792 is once again George Washington vs. Himself, and pretty uneventful. There are 15 states now. North Carolina and Rhode Island finally ratify the Constitution and get to be part of the fun, New York got their shit together and found some delegates in time for the election, and we have two new states in Vermont and Kentucky.
Of course, he’s just as much the shoo in as he was the first go around. All 132 electors gave their first vote for Washington. He didn’t even have to campaign. But, if he had, I can tell you how he would have done it: with alcohol. Buy some guys a round of beer, and they’ll be right ready to cast their vote for you.
It worked for Washington to get elected into his spot in the Virginia House of Burgesses 34 years prior, when he saw to it 391 voters and friends received 160 gallons of rum, beer and cider on election day. Get them drunk and they will come (to vote!)
The only guys having to buy drinks, though, would be the Vice President. It was the only position in any doubt in 1792. There’s talk to replacing John Adams with the current governor of New York, George Clinton. But the Federalists are like, God no, not that guy.
But in the end, John Adams gets 77 votes for Vice President, and George Clinton only comes in with 50. Adams is the winner again, but he’s still pissed about it. He sees those 50 votes against him as a sign of disrespect and just starts shouting “damn ‘em” over and over again.
For Washington’s second term things had become more complicated with relations with France and Britain. The French Revolutionary War against the Brits (among other countries) is getting ugly, and Washington is trying to stay out of it, and let France and England work that out themselves, despite his advisors telling him we should probably come to France’s aid, you know, since they helped us in the Revolutionary War and all. Washington believed America needed some time to grow, and that we were too fragile to get involved. France and Britain don’t hate us today, and our country is going strong 230 years later, so I guess it worked alright for Washington.
Besides, back at home Washington had enough to deal with, the first uprising of settlers rebelling against a new liquor tax. But it’s not all bad, the 1794 Whiskey Rebellion tax protest gave the new U.S. government its first opportunity to establish federal authority by military means within state boundaries.
Officials moved into western PA to stop the settlers rebelling against the liquor tax, and by officials, I mean George Washington himself. With the rebellion, he became the only sitting US President to personally lead troops in the field when he put on his old uniform and rode out to put down the revolt, which quickly collapsed; because nobody messes with General Washington.
To round out Washington’s contributions to the foundation of our country, over his time as president he also established the 6 member Supreme Court, and the position of the Attorney General, created the navy and the first copyright law.
And of course, he directed the permanent capital of the United States to be positioned along the Potomac River near Georgetown. He was totally opposed to the name of Washington D.C. He didn’t want to be idolized, but he also didn’t want to micromanage the guys he put in charge. Although, every time George ever addressed the place, he called it the “Federal City.”
So after Washington had given 8 years of his life to the presidency, he set a presidency only broken by FDR, by stepping down and giving the other guys a chance in 1797.
Washington was happy to be done. He was ready to retire to Mount Vernon. Martha was thrilled too: “The General (she means George!) and I feel like children just released from school!” It’s summer vacation for the Washington’s.
First thing is first, Washington sells his prized horse Jack, to the circus for $150. He’d visit the very 1st circus in the United States in Philadelphia to relax as president, and as an expert rider himself, he loved the horse acts. People would come from far and wide to see the horse George Washington had rode during the war.
Heading home, the Washington’s quickly buy up more land surrounding Mount Vernon. It’s over tripled in size! They’re taking over the neighborhood, and they’re turning it into a distillery, processing everyone’s grains into nearly 11,000 gallons of whiskey (one of the largest in America at the time).
George and Martha would have preferred to have lived out there days in quiet. But even at Mount Vernon they couldn’t escape the hoards of visitors who just wanted to meet with the legendary George Washington. And of course, even though he’s not thrilled with visitors, he’s an excellent host. If he so much as hears you cough, he’ll bring you some tea.
George and Martha would only have two years together at Mount Vernon before 67 year old George got sick with a throat infection, had a bunch of blood removed and died on Saturday, December 14, 1799, with Martha at the foot of his bed. His last words were "'Tis well". Did Washington die from some weird 1700’s disease, or medical malpractice? The world may never know.
Either way the first president was dead. The guy that defined the role of the presidency, was now being eulogized as “first in war, first in peace, first in the hearts of countrymen”. He was buried at Mount Vernon, where Martha lived out her days in the attic- she couldn’t bear to go back in their bedroom.
When the normal person dies, everyone rushes to memorialize them, raising them to sainthood status. But when a guy who has already been treated like a saint, and a savior dies, the outpouring can be a bit excessive.
Washington was a humble guy. He preferred no statues, no parades, no pomp, basically no fuss. He wanted the same in death, writing: “It is my expressed desire that my corpse may be interred in a private matter, without a parade or funeral oration.”
He didn’t get it, but he’s dead, what does he know.
George Washington wasn’t perfect in life. He made mistakes, of course. He once checked out a library book, and never returned it, racking up a $300,000 fine (that the library eventually forgave, probably as a PR move).
He had some very undemocratic ways about him. He was sometimes criticized in the press for having a monarch- like style, and staying too neutral and removed in international conflicts. Oh, and referred to himself in the third person.
And then, there was the slaves. Sure, Washington was known for his integrity, but at the time of his death he had over 300 slaves. He said he just went “along with the custom,” but he did more than just going along with it. As president, he made it a federal crime to assist an escaping slave and created a system that would return escaped slaves to their masters. And unlike Lincoln you can’t even claim you hate it, but the Constitution allows for it, when you helped write the Constitution.
I guess he gets credit for writing in his will that all of his slaves would be freed upon Martha’s death, he didn’t want to leave her in the lurch after all. Of course, he didn’t realize that put Martha in danger, because now all her slaves want her dead. Martha had to free a bunch of them early to avoid being murdered.
But for hundreds of years people will talk about brave as they come, the legendary George Washington, with the highest moral compass there ever was. Washington would become one of the most memorialized men in America. How embarrassing for him he’s still famous today!
After his death, plenty of people wanted to cash in on the demi-god himself. Washington’s first biographer, Parson (Mason) Weems would publish “A History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits of General George Washington”, which was mostly full of lies- like the ‘I cannot tell a lie’ chopping down a cherry tree story.
Washington wasn’t the Johnny Appleseed of Marijuana, his dentures weren’t made of wood, and he never killed a horse trying to break it.
And George Washington’s loser grandson, a college flunk out, nicknamed the “Washtub” published a bunch of half-truths about dear old grand dad. He painted a bunch of sloppy battle scenes like bullets whizzing past George Washington’s head,
The 18th century super hero of George Washington was conceived by a half-wit. But it didn’t matter, that’s how America wanted to remember George Washington.
Most of what we have are those stories, though. Historians have worked hard to decipher fact from fiction as far as Washington is concerned. Back in the day there were no national archives to log presidential papers. Instead, President’s liked to keep all of that private. Washington lugged the papers back to Mount Vernon, but rain and moisture “excessively mutilated irreplaceable papers.”
We did kind of bungle the whole honoring Washington thing in the beginning. The Washington monument construction was a total mess that started and then stopped again. We constructed a statue of Washington in a toga. The half-naked Washington which resulted in public outcry. The statue had to moved several times before it got lost to the basement of the Smithsonian where it sits today.
Not everyone was always so willing to memorialize Washington, some guys protested. John Quincy Adams in 1832, was still complaining, likely on his father’s behalf, saying we’ve “exalted the character of Washington a bit too much.” A child JQA was supposed to be watching Washington’s dogs once, when John Quincy lost them, and Washington never forgave him (even after the dogs were found.)
But as time, the critics of Washington began to die out, and the stories and legend of Washington over took. Eventually we would name 17 cities, 31 counties, and 1 state after him. His face is on mugs and t-shirts, the quarter, and the dollar bill. We can’t forget the guy!
One thing is certain, someone had to be first, and we could have done a lot worse than Martha and George Washington. He defined the role of the presidency, and was an integral part to the country we know today. He’s national treasure status for sure.
That's it for my story. But, I have a new feature doing forward aler!
TL/DR: George Washington was a badass, and we were lucky to have him as our precident-setting president.
Hayden really debated where to put him on his rankings. Lincoln is up there at National Treasure. So who is more important, the guy who helped make the country, at first he kept Lincoln as his most national treasure.
But he ened up swapping them later. I'm not so sure we're at final status here. They might be moved again.
Of course, we looked at George Washington's legacy through Rose Colored Glasses,
And a scathing review
No Surprise here, Hayden decided to leave it on the Rose Colored glasses side.
I did decide we could start using the chalkboard for a quote. (Don't mind the last one that didn't erase that well, I had to order my new eraser for it and it wasn't here yet).
The sleaze-o-meter is pretty non existant in this one, we would have given it a zero if I put that on the scale.
I haven't really been sharing our First Lady Trading Cards. But here is Martha's
Hayden put her at Adventure, after all, she did risk life and limb to see George during the Revolutionary War. Eleanor Roosevelt, was there, so he moved her back to All Around Badass (Good Choice).
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