Week 3: Alligator Funerals and Carly's Pooping Virus

This week, I have much less exciting things to report, despite my riveting title. With the boys at school, and a lazy weekend to follow it wasn't a very exciting week around here.

If you missed my facebook update on how much Hayden is liking school, here's how it went:

Hayden day 1 of kindergarten- 'It's awesome!'

Hayden day 2 of kindergarten- 'It's ok'

Hayden day 3 of kindergarten- 'I hate school'

Hayden day 4 of kindergarten- 'Please don't make me go to school, I want to stay home with you forever'

Hayden day 5 of kindergarten- 'I'm serious, I'm not going to school ever again' (insert crying here- and for extra dramatic effect, kicking and laying on the floor)

I'm hoping these issues work themselves out soon rather than later. Calib attempted bribery, promising to buy Hayden a hermit crab if Hayden straightened up and went to school without whining. (This was day 3- as you can see, it didn't work). I said I would have a sleepover, and sleep on the trundle in their room on Friday if he was good. Asa found this to be a horrible idea, as I would be treating the separation anxiety by spending even more time with him. But, then he found it to be a good idea as he thought about getting to sleep in the middle of the bed. Either way, it was a no go.

Calib had a good first week. He's the top of the school being in 5th grade and all. I told him to enjoy it while it lasts, because next year he'll find himself at the bottom of the totem pole. He applied to be in safety patrol. Apparently, bright orange sashes mean you're super cool. Who would have thought? Peyton seems to like his class, but thats probably because the homework hasn't started yet. Oh man, if there is anything I'm dreading it's doing homework with Peyton again. This requires a super large amount of patience, and my patience bar has been depleted since that hugely long summer vacation we took.

We did use our newly constructed noise meter this week. I have found the noise meter does directly correlate with how much advil I need to take. We have four stages: Loud (reserved for Rock Band, and Light Saber Fights), Inside Voice, Whisper (which as we all know Asa does not know how to do- I guess if you have to have one fault this is not a bad one to have), and Quiet (for homework, and bedtime). Speaking of bedtime, I also had to mix up some super special good dream spray for Hayden. I will share with you my super secret recipe, but I warn you, it is most complicated. Ok, here it is. It's one part fabreeze, one part construction paper label. But, it keeps away zombies, ghosts, monsters, vampires, and bad dreams. 98 and 3/4 Percent Guaranteed.

I have come up with a weekly schedule, like we had for the summer. Just because they have school there's no reason to stop with the arts and crafts. (Look, my time with them and these sort of things are limited, they won't want to do them forever, I have to take advantage of it while it lasts). Monday we made bouncy balls (which I think I talked about in last weeks blog), anyway, that's craft night. Tuesday is Math Skills Night. We had all kinds of dixie cups lined up with numbers on them, and popsicle sticks with problems on them. They had to place the right popsicle stick in the right cup. Originally, Peyton was all whiney. But, when the reward was a miniature marshmallow for every couple you had correct, he got right on board.

Wednesday is game night. I wanted to play chalk squares, where you draw a huge board of squares, everyone starts on one and as you step to a new one you X out your old square. You can't move where the X's are, so the last person left with moves wins. I told Asa we should move the cars so we could do it in our driveway, but then Asa said we should just do it next door, since that house has gone into foreclosure- yay for the Florida Economy coming in handy once. Calib won, only because Asa helped him though. The boys have been waiting for it to rain since Wednesday so that it would wash away and we could play again. We finally got one of those trademark afternoon rains yesterday. Thursday is baking night. We made dirt, complete with oreo's and gummy worms (trust me, it's much more appealing than it sounds), and Friday is movie night. We watched Hoodwinked 2. Talk about a sequel that flopped. I think rotten tomatoes had it at like a 38 percent. I think that was a little high.

How was my week you ask? It was alright. The amount of things I can get done in a day are amazing. Monday by lunch time I had so much cleaning done and things accomplished I could hardly believe it. By Friday afternoon I was terribly bored, and was getting suggestions from everyone on what I should do. Rachel Benson wins for that one, next time I'm that bored I'll be making clay versions of my family, and making a video. Stay tuned for that one. I promise it'll be more entertaining than Hoodwinked 2.

Which brings me to the weekend. Originally the models had the hurricane coming our way. I was pretty sure it wouldn't though, because I'm basically hurricane repellent. When I moved here everyone said 'You're going to get swept away in a hurricane' or 'A gator is going to eat your kids'. Well, at this point both of them seem equally as likely, because neither one of them has come even close to happening. When the hurricane took the very predictable turn, we thought maybe we could go to Disney this weekend. But, early Saturday morning when I got online to check the weather, we were under severe weather. But not due to a storm, or anything like that. Oh no. This is Florida, in August. It was a heat advisory telling us 'dangerous heat index. outdoor exposure should be limited'. I am all for Disney, but not in 110 degree heat with 95 percent humidity.

So, it turned into a lazy weekend. This is good for a couple of reasons. 1. Asa needs one of those every once in awhile. 2. We have weekend plans until October. We called our friend Brandy out in Oregon for her birthday last week, and she was talking about coming to visit again (Which would be super fun- book your ticket now!) Asa told her I have us booked up until 2014 so she better start planning her wedding soon, otherwise we won't be able to make it. Which is inaccurate because A. To my knowledge, Brandy has not found her special someone yet. and B. I could rearrange my schedule for her! But, Asa's point ( to him at least) remains valid. We usually have plans for a couple weeks- or months - out. What can I say? I'm a planner.

We did go to the pool Saturday, where we lost someone very near and dear to all of us. Mr. Inflatable Alligator is no longer with us. He sprung a leak at approximately 3:55 pm and there was no reinflating him. He went peacefully though. Official cause of death is listed as natural causes. He was over 16 months old, after all. Thats at least 80 in inflatable raft years. Asa said we should take him home and cook him for dinner, I said the meat may be a little rubbery, so we decided to give him the proper burial he deserved. We picked out a nice spot in the trash can on the pool deck.We had a moment of silence for him. Hayden said a few words 'My favorite memory was riding Mr. Alligator around in the pool' RIP Mr. Alligator 2010-2011.

After our traumatizing event at the pool, we went over to Justin's for dinner. It was super official, instead of just calling us to invite us over, he made a facebook event and everything, complete with a picture of what was in his fridge. He did make the mistake of letting Asa cook the bacon burgers.

The conversation went something like this:

Justin: 'When you said wrap the burgers in bacon, you really meant wrap the WHOLE burger in bacon'

Me: 'Yea, you gotta watch him with the bacon usage, he'll use the whole package if you don't monitor it. You really should know better Justin'

We also got to play a game of catan, in which I did not win, and Asa did not throw any pieces. There may be a correlation between the two. Then we played munchkin. If you don't play this game, you should consider yourself lucky. I'm pretty confident friendships have been broken and divorces have been initiated due to this game. Even worse, Carly once made the pooping virus card, in which you have to give all your cards in use to the person to your left. Fortunately for Asa (who was sitting next to the poop virus host, aka Calib) 11 year olds are not very good at keeping secrets. Asa quickly sold his soul for a wishing ring to protect himself from this curse, and no tables were over turned. At one point though, Calib drew a card that would have had him win the game, but did not read it correctly to know thats what would happen, so we continued on. In the end I bluffed my way using deadly deathful death threats to making Asa and I co-winners. Just like in life, and we dodge the divorce bullet yet again. Phew. Thats good. I wouldn't have had the $360 to file till Friday anyway.

Fun side note: while we were playing this Peyton was playing star wars on Justin's Xbox, and Hayden was pretending to move pillows with his hands (because, the force was with him). He would move his hands around, then quickly throw the pillow when he thought nobody was looking. It was pretty entertaining.

Today we were going to go to Adventure Island, but Hayden seems to have come down with a bit of a cold. Con: Hayden not feeling well. Pro: Maybe I won't be alone tomorrow and I'll have a sick kid to cuddle with. Ok, not really, I'll make him go to school, and I don't actually want him to be sick. Hopefully he feels better in the morning. And, I won't be alone with week because Asa gets to work from home. YAY!

The most exciting event today was the great Bathroom/Bedroom Flood of 2011 caused by Hurricane Hayden in the bathtub. It was a 6-towel clean up job. Calib also picked Philip River's first in the fantasy league he's in with Asa and some people from Asa's work. (For those of you who don't know- and if you know Asa I don't know how you don't know- he's obsessed with Philip Rivers. So much so, the guy made it into our wedding vows.) I believe I see either a trade, or some grounding, in Calib's future.

I have no pictures for this week. I actually don't think I took any this week. Taking a picture everyday is not on my list like it was last year, so I don't think about it as much. My list is coming along well though. I made some new recipes this week, finished a book, and killed it on yoshi tetris.

I'll leave you with a conversation I had with Peyton tonight. Ever the kind child about my age, that one:

Peyton: When was the Super Nintendo made?

Me: Oh, I don't know, a while ago.

Peyton: Yea, like the 1980's, or something? Was it that long ag0? Because that's a really long time ago.

Me: Really Peyton?

Peyton: Oh, I mean, I know you were born in the 1980s, but it was still a long time ago.

Me: Really? This conversation is still going?

Peyton: (realizing perhaps he's calling me old) Well, at least Uncle Cort and Uncle Clint will always be older than you. They're REALLY old. Uncle Clint's even losing some hair!

Up Next: Vocabulary Parades, Ice Cream Buckets, and Giant Inflatable Slides Oh My!

Week 2: "To This Day, Nobody Knows if Hermit Crabs Poop"

Your blog title this week is brought to you by the weird things that come out of Peyton's mouth commission.

It was the last week of summer vacation here in the Waterstraut household. While some years I feel the staples 'it's the most wonderful time of the year' commercial is appropriate here, I think this year was different for two reasons. 1. Hayden is off to school, and I don't know what to do with myself 2. We had such an awesomely epic summer, it's sad to see it end.

Last Tuesday Hayden got registered for kindergarten. Such a sad, sad milestone. What will I do with all my kids in school? Five to Six hours a day, just me. It blows my mind that I could just go out and not have to say anything to anyone. This hasn't happened since I was like, a freshman in college. And, actually, thats the only time it ever happened. It'll be an adjustment, with pro's and con's, I'm sure. Pro: Nobody to mess up everything I clean up. :) Con: Nobody to mess up everything I clean up :(

This week Hayden invented strawberry tacos. Now before you all run right to your recipe box to add this thinking it's some cool new recipe I came up with, just know Hayden made this up all on his own. And, he's related to the guy who invented fat sandwiches (don't ask). Anyway, It was just a taco, complete with tomatoes, meat, cheese, and sour cream, and then added strawberries. Not one or two, no this is Hayden. His life motto whether he knows it or not is go big or go home. It's in his genes. Well, actually his motto is pretty much just 'go big in EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO'. His weirdness continued into the night, while we were all in the living room doing our own thing, he came out with a broom, using it as metal detector. Beep....... Beep...... Beep....... BEEPBEEPBEEP.... He didn't talk to anyone else, he didn't involve anyone else. He just very seriously and intently looked for, and found some buried treasure.

With Hayden going to school, Calib and Peyton felt the need to start to tell him about what his daily life would be like. Peyton was talking about how Hayden is going to have to say the Pledge of Allegiance everyday. Haydens response: Whats the Pledge of Alliance? (Yes, alliance). Peyton then went on 'I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of american, and to the republic for whiches stands, one nation, under god, invisible for liberty and justice for all'. I tried to correct him, but he just wasn't having it. I thought people only messed that up in bad sitcoms, like saved by the bell. Oh no, folks. My kids are a bad sitcom.

We also made sponge bombs (not to be confused with sponge bob, the one with the square pants.)They are pretty much the concept of water balloons, without the broken balloon mess all over the yard. Plus you can use them over and over again. It's a genius idea, really. If By genius you mean something only the moms who would have to pick up said mess would appreciate. We also glow stick lanterns, they didn't last so long though. It was more like glow stick flashes of light.

Wednesday was meet the teacher day. This is the first day the boys find out what class they will be in and which one of their friends will be in the class with them. We were really hoping Peyton would have Calibs teacher from last year, there was a celebration of jumping up and down and high fives when we saw he did. She really works with the kids, and doesn't overload on homework (which Peytons teacher really did last year. Two to three hours of homework is WAY too much for third grade). The bad news came when Peyton noticed his best friend wasn't in his class. We went back to the board on our way out to check and see which class he was in, and we couldn't find him in fourth grade. Apparently, he didn't pass the FCAT and stayed in third grade. I felt really bad for Peyton, but we told him ALL year how important it was to pass the FCAT or he wouldn't go on to fourth grade. This is a good lesson for him, I suppose. Still, that stinks.

Also, at school they have pods, different animals represent different area's of the school. This way you always stay with the same kids and get the feel of a much smaller school than the nearly 1000 kids that are there. Hayden should have been in the Rays like Calib and Peyton, but for some reason he got put in the dolphins (on the bright side at least I don't have to worry about him getting Peyton's third grade teacher). Later that evening I overheard a conversation between Calib and Hayden, it went something like this:

Hayden: I'm a Shark.

Calib: No Hayden, you're a dolphin.

Hayden: I'll just pretend to be a shark then. It's pretty much just a mean dolphin with a lot more teeth.

Calib (patronizing): ok Hayden.

Hayden: Sharks can eat Rays, Calib. Remember that.

For Arts and Crafts this week (yes, I'm that mom) we made finger puppets out of those little pom pom things and pipe cleaners. Now, question, has anyone ever actually used a pipe cleaner to clean a pipe? And if so, why do you need neon colored ones. I'm fascinated by where in the heck the term pipe cleaners came from. Either way, they're super easy to make finger puppets out of. Just curl them around the top of your finger, hot glue a pom pom to the top for the head, and then add assorted googly eyes and such. Wha-La! We also made everyones name out of Popsicle sticks. They are pretty funny because they're kind of all over the place. I try really hard not to do these sorts of things for them though. Thats one of my biggest pet peeves. One day we were at the childrens museum and a lady kept correcting them on how to build this tower out of big blocks. And then she gave me a dirty look like 'aren't you going to help them'. Yea, ok lady, this is why your kid couldn't figure out how to do anything on his own.

I also discovered the joy that are koolade slushies this week. Ok, heres the recipe. It's really complicated, so take notes. You put a koolade packet, some sugar, water and ice in a blender. Here'es where it gets really complicated. You blend and pour. Although Koolade slushies are not nearly as good as Lemonade slushies. I'm partial to the lemonade ones though, mostly because I'm a grown up. And, grownups don't like Koolade. Unless you're feeling nostalgic. It's like tang, drink it once to remember your childhood. And then let it sit there till it gets all gross and clumpy and think about what other gross things you ate/drank as a child and would no longer subject yourself to. Like, Peanut Butter and Miracle Whip. Oh yea, that happened.

Friday was payday, which meant spending money on all the boring stuff that is school supplies. It amazes me the stuff we have to bring in, and the amount of it. Ziplock baggies in tons, 20 pounds of glue sticks, and a 2 year supply of baby wipes. Also not to be forgotten the packages of bandaids, batteries, and playdough. It was just a weird mix of things this year. I also had to buy three pairs of shoes and three backpacks, which was odd. Filed under the not awesome category: spending $300 on new shoes and school supplies. Filed under the awesome category: getting the Kohls cash when you buy all that. I guess I have some plans for later this week.

This weekend, I was playing Tetris Attack on the Nintendo 64, because we're that awesome, we have super awesome game consoles. I got to level 76, which met my goal on my 31 things to do before I turn 31. I was super excited. Hayden: What do you win? Me: The satisfaction of knowing I can still do it. Hayden: *sigh* Lame. Two days later I got to level 99 (the highest you can get to) and Peyton just kept talking about how tetris is the stupidest game ever, because you can't actually win. He told me I was just setting myself up for failure.

Saturday night we had a housewarming shindig for our friend Justin. He moved into his house when we were in Alaska, so we were just now getting around to his housewarming. Heres the great part about being able to have a party and Justins. 1. I don't have to clean for it. 2. It's Justins house, and Justin is the closest thing to family we have in Florida, so I feel pretty much at home there. 3. I don't have to clean up after it. It was a good time. There were toys sold on the black market, wrestling matches which resulted in Rex's face being rubbed into the carpet by Calib, and random toys ending up in shoes. Yup, it was a pretty wild time.

For the last day of summer vacation we spent the morning at Busch Gardens. Peyton was finally able to ride a 54 inch ride. Although, the bad news there is I can't hang that over his head to get him to drink his milk anymore. We had lunch at Five Guys, which translates to Hayden had peanuts for lunch (and made a HUGE mess), and then went to Adventure Island. We convinced Justin to add adventure island to his pass so he could come with us. He only did, and purchased a swim suit when I told him to do so (because if Asa comes up with an idea it's harebrained. If I come up with an idea it's pretty much the best idea ever- this is how Justin ended up as a homeowner). Our friend Ann came with us too, so Asa had someone else to coerce into going down slides and jumping off cliffs. It worked pretty well, he didn't ask me to go once! My big plan was to tire the kids out so they would go to sleep early enough for school in the morning. Unfortunately, this totally backfired as they were laying on the couch at 6:30 falling asleep. They weren't allowed to go to their rooms for fear of them falling asleep too early. Peyton was not happy, every time he started to doze off, Asa and I would make an obscene amount of noise.

Monday was the first day of school. Or, as I call it, the day I got fired from my day job. Hayden

did really well, he didn't even mind that Asa and I were leaving. I was happy Asa got a work from home exception, so he could come along too. The traffic though, was seriously ridiculous. When we left the school it was 9:40- school starts at ten till 10. The cars were backed up nearly to our house, which is a little over a mile. Calib said it took an hour after school started for all the kids to get there. It's always worst the first day of school, but I had never seen it like that. Crazy! I spent the day keeping busy. I got to pick up the stuff we painted on my birthday, and they all came out really cool. Everyone had a good first day at school. When they got home we made bouncy balls, which is actually a very similar recipe to making slime- who knew? I just couldn't go a day without some random kid project. Mid school year I suspect I'll be making puppets and playdough by myself, I'll be so desperate.

Quotes of the week:

Hayden: 'Dad went to register me for kindergarten. I think he's at publix.'

Me: 'No Hayden, he's at school.'

Hayden: But, I know theres a register at Publix. I don't think theres one at school'.

Quote: Hayden: Sometimes it's weird when I walk

Peyton: So you're drunk?

Hayden: Uh... Drunk? No, I'm Hayden.

Me: Why does Peyton know you can't walk if you're drunk?

Asa: Uhh.. I might have told him stories.

Peyton: School lunches just aren't going to be the same.

Me: Why ?

Peyton: Nobody makes me smiley faces out of vegetables and owls out of sandwiches. I even have to open my own milk. It's really a huge step down from the cruise ship.

Next Up: Trying to figure out how to entertain myself for about 5 and a half hours a day.

Also, pictures are being dumb again. But, I uploaded a bunch to facebook so you can also see them there!

Week 1: One year closer to being crushed to death by a falling llama

As many of you know, I have a list of things to do each year before my next birthday. I started this last year- with an over ambitious 52 things to do before I turned 30. The list got trimmed down to 30 things to do before I turn 30. You may call it cheating, but it's my list, I can do what I want! I highly under estimated the cost, and time commitment to do many of those things. Anyway, here's my much more manageable (and cheaper- can you hear Asa's sigh of relief right now?) 31 things to do before I turn 31.

1. Swim with manatees

2. Crochet an afgahan

3. Make at least 24 new recipes

4. Go to Key West (and stop in the Everglades)

5. Go Camping at least 3 different places

6. Get at least 5 new stadium pictures

7. Make 12 sewing projects

8. Read 12 new books

9. Make a Calendar Journal

10. Go Canoeing or Kyaking

11. Do at least 6 new things in the Tampa Bay Area I have not done before

12. Learn how to cook on a grill

13. Learn how to play two songs on the keyboard

14. Go Ice Skating

15. Get to level 75 on tetris attack

16. Go on the Shiekra

17. Learn how to eat with chop sticks

18. Eat at the Taco Bus

19. Teach Calib how to do the laundry

20. Teach Peyton how to cook lasagna

21. Teach Hayden how to ride a bike (without training wheels)

22. Make a scrapbook from the Epic Vacation

23. Organize the stuff in the Closet (papers, pictures)

24. Watch 24 new movies

25. Blog one entry per week

26. Fix the laptop hole in the door

27. Learn at least two songs on the guitar

28. Make Homemade Pasta

29. Go Puddle Hopping after a rain storm

30. Go to Caldesi Island

31. On our one year anniversary, take a picture of us holding a picture of anniversary #1

As you can see, (or your just reading now because you got bored reading my list) number 25 is to blog once a week. I rather enjoyed documenting out adventures on vacation, so I thought I would continue on. Our adventures here are much less exciting than our whirlwind 28 days around the country, but in many cases, just as entertaining to read about! Sadly though, my subtitle of '27 days. 9 states. 1 epic vacation' will have to be changed. Any ideas are welcome! So, anyway, get excited for 52 riveting posts about life in the Waterstraut household!

This week, we've see my 20's go. It was really sad, I'm thirty. THIRTY. Gross. Ughhh.. I suppose it's better than the alternative. My dad dreaded 65. And, well, lesson learned. I'll try not to complain. My mom was down for my birthday. You know, because we haven't spent enough time together this summer. She also brought Calib home, so we were all finally reunited. We bundled my birthday into a 5 day extravaganza of events. Because turning 30 deserves much more of a celebration than just one day.

Friday night we headed out to island nights- a cool festival type atmosphere they have at our water park here. I had some conch shell fritters, which were interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about them. They were like hush puppies but slime-e-er. Yea, now that I'm describing them they weren't all that awesome. But, at least I ate it. I still haven't brought myself to try gator meat. I should have put that on my list. Saturday we went to the fresh market at wiregrass. Apparently this happens twice a month, and has been occurring for at least 18 months. I had no idea. It's a cute little street market at the outdoor mall here. Although, I've noticed a lot of things people are selling I can/do totally make. I'm pretty crafty like that. We also went out to the stadium where the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have their annual night practice. They had $1 drinks and hot dogs. Which basically means I spent the entire time in the concession line. Mom took advantage of the free beer, because as we know mom is a big drinker, and we got to cap off the night with some fireworks. Sunday we went to the pool. Here's the thing about our pool this time of year. It's HOT. Like, somewhere between 'this is nice and warm' and 'whoa, this is a hot tub'. I tried to visualize the cruise ship pool, or even the ones in Ohio, and thought to myself- you don't want to be the girl who complains no matter what. I also got to go see Harry Potter- or as Asa and I have been calling it HP7P2. You have to emphasize the HP7 and insert a dramatic pause before the P2. We're nerds like that. Also, was anyone else severely creeped out by that bloody baby Voldemort? (dude- Voldemort is in the google dictionary- awesome!) I certainly was.

Monday we headed out to the beach- to overcast skies. It rained a bit, but nothing to deter us from playing in the gulf. On the way, in the middle of the divided highway in the grassy area, I saw a bald eagle. Which, was just amazing to me. I had never seen one in the wild before Alaska. Apparently I didn't have to go that far. Peyton found lots of little baby hermit crabs, which he then brought home. (do I need to state the obvious here- they did not survive). I sprayed sunscreen on everyone, but did a terribly poor job. Haydens face looked like someone drew a red marker all over it. Apparently, I didn't get as much of his face with the stick as I thought I did. Tuesday we went to the Magic Kingdom. I am so super excited to have my passes back again! It's my 2012 birthday present, you know because 2011 was already used up for that little whale watching cruise I went on in Alaska. It was pouring down rain, and I said to my mom 'it can't possibly rain all day- the last time it did that was when Cort was at Disney'. Well, I guess chalk that up to Sattlers visiting Disney, because it rained nearly all day. At one point, I went on space mountain with Peyton and Calib. When we got off the ride it was POURING. I was watching all the people stuck driving around in those little cars just get absolutely drenched, and I felt horrible bad for them. A little while later Mom and Hayden showed up, drenched, as they were one of those people stuck driving around in the little cars. The rain had some good points though: we didn't mind the sunburn as much, nobody got hot, and it kept the crowds away. Plus, walking around barefoot through puddles in the Magic Kingdom on your last day of being 29 = SUPER FUN! Couple that with a dole whip, and proudly displaying a 'Happy Birthday' Button so all the cast members are paid to tell you happy birthday, and you've got yourself some kind of early birthday celebration. Asa came later in the evening and met us for dinner, and mom took the kids home so we could go see cirque du soleil at downtown disney. Asa was really skeptical of it, but it was super cool. People flipping around everywhere, little girls with the spools and sticks (it doesn't sound that entertaining- but really it was AWESOME with a capital AWE), and jugglers- yes please!

Wednesday was my actual birthday, so my wonderful husband got up early on his day off to go down to the aquarium in a massively big Florida sized storm (yes, it was still raining- a Sattler was visiting after all). They have a behind the scenes penguin tour, where you get to pet the penguins and go into their habitat and everything- but you have to get there early enough to register, because they only let 20 people in a day. Penguins are much softer than I anticipated them being, but just as friendly and socially awkward as one would expect. Think Chilly Willy. Anyway, they also poop alot. The keeper said he spends about a quarter of his day picking up poop. Apparently, they go every 15 minutes. It's like Asa after he has Taco Bell. After the aquarium we went to dinner, where I noticed Alaskan King Crab is just as expensive here (maybe even a little cheaper) than it is in Alaska. How weird is that? Whatever, we found our own crab legs later on the beach. They weren't quite king crab leg sized though.

For my birthday presents we went to color me mine. It's a paint your own pottery place. We went last year on my birthday too, I love it because its something to do, plus a gift, and you get to go back later in the week and get it when it's all finished. This year everyone made dinner plates. I haven't gotten them back yet, so I'm pretty excited about that. Plus last year Hayden just mixed all the paint and I ended up with a weird black fish platter. This year he actually kept the colors separate. Way to go being five! My mom could only take a few days of work, so we had to drop her back at the airport before we headed home for two kinds of cake (30 is also way too much of a celebration to just have one cake), complete with SPARKLERS for candles. FYI, this may be a better activity to do outside. All in all a good birthday.

After all those events we pretty much hung around the house. There was preseason football to be watched. Although, lets be realistic, toward the end of that I might as well be watching EMU play the Akron Zips. I don't know who any of the players are, and I don't really care. I did make an awesome bowl out of newspaper and magazines. Although, I don't recommend doing that in one day. My fingers still hurt from rolling all that paper pinwheel style. (thats the Ainsworth in me- I was thinking the cookie, not the toy). I also booked our tickets for our fall trip to Ohio, and our tickets to the Monday night primetime Bucs vs. Colts game, which is super exciting. The washer broke, which is annoying, but not terrible since it's still under warranty. The bad news is I really needed to do laundry. I sent a load of unmentionables over to Justin's house, so I didn't have to do the laundry mat thing. I hate laundry mats, they remind me of that one time in college where I thought it'd be a good idea to put all my clothes in one drier, thinking it would save time and money, and we were there for hours because lets face it, one dryer is not meant to hold five loads out of the washer. Lesson learned.

Today we're back to the old grind. By grind, I mean doing arts and crafts, workbooks, and making delicious deserts. Our day was complete with a slime/gak like substance made from glue, water, food coloring and borax (I had no idea how versatile and cheap that stuff was!). We also used old shirts to make some pretty awesome super hero capes, and had some kool-ade slushie, since the central air was MIA today. One more week of summer vacation and it's off to school they go. I've been looking up volunteer opportunities. I'm considering the zoo, that could be fun. I thought about the NICU, but I'd rather not relive that experience, so we'll see.

Quotes from the week:

Hayden: I can't wait to go to school and see Daniel and Deigo (his friends from the cruise ship- he's convinced they'll be there)

Peyton: Aw, man, I should have made the yellow slime. It looks way more like snot.

Birthday Winners: For those of you who were aware I asked for jokes instead of the old 'happy birthday'.

3rd place: Jake- I could be wishing you a happy birthday right now, but then you'd have to get on fb and leave the kitchen. And we can't have a woman leaving the kitchen, now can we?

2nd place: Kelley- So here is my witty advice that is also funny and just happened to me last night. So.. when your kids are driving you absolutely nuts and they are not listening to a word you are saying, DO NOT I repeat DO NOT have an industrial size plastic container of salsa in your hand when you decide to slam it down on the counter to get their attention. Result = One child covered in salsa and a HUGE mess in your kitchen! But at least I finally had some peace and quiet! (Thank God I can laugh about it today)

1st Place:

Drum Roll......

Joanne- and her various aray of 30 (and one to grow on) Brett Favre related posts.

And the twitter winner, by far, is Chris Kluwe. Who not only is the coolest punter in the NFL, but also wished me a happy birthday.

@cwaterstraut Happy Birthday. You're one year closer to being crushed to death by a falling llama.

Next Up: Tomorrow is be glad I'm married to Asa day. (It's the honorary 8th annual). And bracing myself for the big change. No, not that big change- the going to school one. I'll see ya next week! Have a fantabulous one!

Also- disclaimer the pictures were being all weird. So, excuse the weirdo formatting.

Epic Tally of Epic Events on the Epic Vacation

The Big Numbers

Elapsed Time:

27 days, 19 hours, and 12 minutes.
Saturday June 25th, 2011 at 5:45 AM, to Saturday July 23 at 12:57 am

Approximate Mileage Traveled:

12455.31 MILES*
*This does not include mileage traveled while visiting in a city

States visited:

9
Florida, Arizona, Alaska, Washington, California, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Michigan

Times out of Country:
2
Vancouver and Niagara Falls

Airports:
9
Tampa, Phoenix, Anchorage, Fairbanks, Seattle, San Fransisco, Cleveland, Detroit, Orlando

Cities:
30
Tampa, Phoenix, Anchorage, Palmer, Wasilla, Talkeetna, Fairbanks, Denali, Houston, Seward, Juneau, Skagway, Icy Straight/Hoonah, Ketchikan, Vancouver, Bothell, Seattle, San Fran, Cleveland, Fremont, Sandusky, Huron, Port Clinton, Gibsonburg, Marblehead, Buffalo, Niagara Falls, Toledo, Detroit, Orlando


From Here to There

Cars:6
Hotel/Airport Shuttle Vans: 6
Motercoaches: 3
Trams: 4
Boats: 8
Airplanes:5
Trains: 1
RVs (not moving):1


Oh the Places You'll Go

Zoos/Animal Exhibts: 8
NFL Stadiums: 3
National Treasures: 5
Bodies of water/pools swam in: 9
Bodies of water I put my feet in and decided it was much too cold to swim: 5


People I've seen (whether I wanted to or not)

Grandparents: 2
Mom: 1
Brothers: 2
Sister-in-laws: 2
Niece: 1
Nephew: 1
Great Aunt: 1
Aunts: 5
Uncles: 3
Cousins/Cousin in law/Pretty much cousin in law: 8
1st Cousins once removed : 3
Friends: 6
Friend of a Friend/Relative: 2
Total: 37



Say Cheese

Total number of pictures taken: 3057

Phoenix: 42
Alaska: 1697
Seattle- 512
Ohio- 646
Niagara Falls- 160

Times I told the kids to do something a sign said not to for the sake of a picture: 8
Number of (wild) Moose pictures: 0



Blogging on the Go

Places I posted blogs from: 12
Places I typed blogs: 16
Total Number of Blog Views: 1,681
Times I offended Cort with my blog: At least twice


It's a celebration

Birthday Celebrations: 5
Anniversaries: 1
Waiters serenaded us: 4
National Holidays: 1


Om Nom Nom

Room Service Count: 12
Days we had ice cream: 14
Asa's Entree Dinner Count: 13
Number of different Animals Asa Ate: 18
Times Hayden had Pizza: 19
Times Peyton had steak: 7
Times I had to cook a meal: 2
Peanut Butter and Jelly Meals: 7
Pounds Asa gained: 7



Waterstraut Almanac

Days where the weather was too cold: 13
Days where the weather was just right: 7
Days where the weather was too hot: The rest of them
Greatest Temperature Change in one day: 113 degrees to 55 degrees
Longest Day: June 25th- 28 hours
Shortest Day: July 12- 21 hours



Pack Rat

Number of times I packed/unpacked: 19
Bags left with: 4 bags, 5 backpacks, 1 box mailed
Bags came home with: 7 bags, 5 backpacks, 2 boxes mailed, 1 carry-on bag
Items Lost on the trip: 1/4 of a pair of pants, 1 camera, 1 toothpaste cap, 1 pair of sandals, 1 person's sanity.


Daily Activities

Port-a-Potties I was forced to use: 4
Beds I slept in: 9
Showers I showered in: 8
Maximum number of fans going at one time while dealing with no AC: 4


Under the Weather:

Motion Sickness: 4 times physically, but 7 days of feeling sick
Home Sickness: kicked in around day 18
Head Cold: 7 days
Pepto:24 pills- a whole bottle (see om nom nom)
Dramamine: Two bottles minus 2
Nyquil: A bottle and a half
Times we used the phrase 'out of network': At least 10


Other Notable Events:

Times Hayden and Gwen watched Rio: 13
Times Calib and Peyton were spotted with ice cream cones: At least 10
Times Cort did/said/purchased something nerdy: At least 5
Times Clint made one of my children cry: Zero. I'm as shocked as you.
Days Holly wished she hadn't brought one/both of her children with her: 16
Times Jessica let Hayden play with her silverware: Zero. She knew what all the forks were for.
Days Mom was glad we all went on vacation together: All of them!


Achievements Unlocked

Longest Time Away from home
Farthest Distance Away from home
49th State
Epic Vacation 100 percent complete/Surviving Epic Vacation



That's All she wrote, folks. Hope you enjoyed the blog, I sure had a great time writing it.


THE END.

Day 29- Yes, there was a Day 29.

My plane landed just before 10 o'clock tonight. The boys clapped and rejoiced to be home. However when we got down to baggage claim I found out Asa was late leaving, and stuck in traffic. By the time he called Justin to get out of the traffic, he was circling the wrong terminal. It was a huge mess, and I had probably the biggest melt down of the entire trip. We had to wait at the airport for an hour and 15 minutes after our plane landed, plus the hour delay, we got home at 12:57 this morning, resulting in a day 29. This trip has been compared to child birth- more than anything I've ever done (well, except of course actual child birth). Hopefully we look back fondly on all the good times, and forget the bad ones. Tonight was a bad one though, so not awesome to end on such a crappy note. At least I got to see Porkchop as soon as Asa picked me up and I am currently in bed, with my laptop, watching the DVR and my puppy down by my feet under the covers. Its like I never left- except for that massive to do list now awaiting me. (unpacking, grocery shopping, laundry, picture uploading to snapfish and facebook) Back to Reality. But, as a disclaimer, I'm not cooking till Sunday.

In case you missed it, lets recap:

Day 1: Not so affectionately referred to as the day that never ends. Total travel time to our hotel in Anchorage: 23 hours, 15 minutes. Had a nice stop over in Phoenix visited family and friends and stopped at the Cardinals stadium for some pictures. Swore off every booking a trip whose travel time exceeds 12 hours.

Day 2: Walked around downtown Anchorage, went to the market and had our first taste of reindeer, resulting in some guilty feelings- after all, i just ate the guy that flies Santa's sleigh.

Day 3: Traveled from Anchorage to Fairbanks stopping at the Reindeer farm, and the Iditarod Headquarters. Gave it the old college try on eating the Sewards Folly. Saw a barrel, a lady, a log and a Moose. Took a blurry picture of the road and a car. Met everyone else in Fairbanks, who questioned the validity of my moose sighting with no picture.

Day 4: Riverboat Tour on a Rainy Day, Visited the Pipeline which the kids thought was just amazing, and proved to Asa I can also be the careless parent. Traveled by motor coach to Denali where everyone went for a hike, and got drenched while I watched the younger kids tolerance for each other start to decline.

Day 5: Spent the day with the kids in Denali, in which we fed Holly and Cort's kids lots of ice cream and fudge. Which pretty much resulted in us being the coolest Aunt and Uncle ever. We made paper airplanes, played mother may I, and went into town after going to the visitors center. Took a late night hike with Cort, Holly, Peyton, Calib and Asa. Clint and Jess spoted a moose AND take a picture. Overachievers.

Day 6: Traveled from Denali to Anchorage, listened to Rio for the 8th time. Played the moose drawing game (that Peyton later got a prize for) and stopped for ice cream in Houston. Dinner cost me an amazing $1.47, and we pretty much met Sarah Palin.

Day 7: Affectionately referred to as the last day Corinne didn't feel sick for a whole week. Rode the train from Anchorage to Seward, where Clint and Jess's stinginess caused them to boycott breakfast. A couple more moose were spotted, but no pictures resulted in some raised eyebrows. Went to the sea life center for an hour, rolled around in the grass, and boarded the boat where Hayden immediately started his cookie count. (It took Peyton and Calib a little longer to find the ice cream)

Day 8: Peyton's birthday and a whole day cruising. We went through the hubbard glacier, and spotted a couple of sealions. Peyton made it to the top of the rock climbing wall, and spent half the day in kids club. Apparently what he wanted for his birthday was a break away from everyone else. We had lunch in the dining room, and had Ponderosa for dinner while Clint Jess and Mom took the Red Lobster route.

Day 9: The cruise port was Juneau. Everyone (sans Clint and Jess) got off the ship for the whale watching cruise where we spotted lots of whales, bald eagles, and sealions. My family stopped at the crab shack, and had some bisque and crab cakes, where we contemplated moving to Alaska and catching crabs for a living, since you can totally sell each leg for $25 and people will buy them. Thats some kind of profit right there.

Day 10: The cruise port was Skagway. The boys stayed on the ship and Asa and I went into town to find a spot to connect to the internet. We waded in the freezing cold river, saw a small boy fall in said river and scream due to the cold, and saw girls in bikinis swimming in the river. Take a guess who was the Alaskan natives. It was the 4th of July so the waiters in the dining room sang a medley of patriotic songs, there was napkin waving for all!

Day 11: The cruise port was the Icy Straight (Hoonah). Asa, Mom, and I took Garrett off the ship. We wandered around some shops, waded in the water, and dodged the rain. We had to ride the tender boats in and out, which didn't help my sea sickness. I was later jealous of Clint and Jess's tide pooling adventures. Mom climbed- no wait- conquered the rock climbing wall.

Day 12: The cruise port was our last one, Ketchikan. Asa, Calib, Peyton, Mom and I made a bee line for creek street, and did lots of souvinere shopping, where the lady at the gift shop looked at us really funny when we asked if we were on a floating dock (a lot of days at sea will do that to you) Mom was the last one on the ship, and therefore the last one to set foot on Alaska. The kids had a pirate parade minus Peyton, who quit due to embarrassment from having to yell something about boogers up noses. Bonus Clip: Video sold on the ship and previewed the last night showed Peyton stomping out of kids club and quitting the Pirate Parade- awesome.

Day 13: Our last day cruising, aka see how much food Asa can eat while it's still free. It was lobster night in the dining room where Peyton spotted dolphins swimming. We squandered away our last dollars in the penny slots, went out on the helipad before watching the farewell show. Peyton and Calib watched Hayden all by themselves for the first time ever, and nothing (that) bad happened.

Day 14: Our cruise ended in Vancouver. Aunt Patty and Uncle Emmett picked us up and we drove back to their house stopping to see Deception Pass, ride the ferry, and pass by the Boeing plant. After spending time at the tide pools that day, Peyton said it was his best part of the trip so far- looks like grandma wasted all that money for his trip to Alaska.

Day 15: Some of us went out to the fish market where we saw the fish flying. We visited the first starbucks, and the fremont troll before having a homecooked seafood night by Aunt Patty, where the "kids" table had way too much fun playing with the crab claws. Uncle Emmett also coerced the kids into thinking picking up pinecones into garbage bags was super fun, when in reality he was just happy not to pick them up himself.

Day 16: Brandy and Britt stopped by to hand deliver Voo Doo Donuts, and lick some Banana Slugs. Corts family and Mom flew home (phew- thank god- a person can only take so much), and we got to go up the space needle at dusk and see it in both daylight and night time all in one trip. Plus, we got to go see Quest Field.

Day 17: Oh thank heaven day! We spent the early afternoon going to the zoo, and the later part of the day was Asa's day (because he needed to be a little nerdier) visiting the Jimmy Hendrix statue, Tim at Microsoft, and having slurpies at the highest grossing 7-11 in the country (because EVERYONE knows where the highest grossing 7-11 is), right next to the Nintendo building.

Day 18: Asa headed home, and the rest of us flew from Seattle to Cleveland, going through San Fransisco, and picking up another state. Until I get to Candlestick Park in San Fransisco, I will be sure to remind the boys I didn't get that stadium because they didn't want to take their shoes off to go through security. Such sacrifices I make as a mother- but what separates me from the good moms, is I don't intend on letting this one go.

Day 19: Took the boys to Soak City, went to the Pizza Box for take out and watched Shrek down at the Boat Basin in Huron. I complained about the cool temperature on Day 19, and I would really like to tell everyone how sorry I was, apparently my wishing to be warmer went a bit on the extreme side after this. It would later be referred to as the last time everyone got to wear their hoodies this trip.

Day 20: Moms Birthday! We went to see Cars 2 in 3D, and out to the Wildlife Safari in Port Clinton to feed all the animals. Calib had a near death experience with a yak. Well, scratch that, Calib thought he had a near death experience with a yak- that never got closer than 15 feet from him. The boys rode ponies after mom guilt tripped the lady into (way to go grandma!), and we waded in lake Erie.

Day 21: We had lunch at Woodys, which to Hayden's dismay was not toy story related. Calib went to his dads house (and I'm sure breathed a huge sigh of relief to get the heck away from us after 21 days) We headed out to Niagara Falls where we stopped to be sure to meet the requirements of a new state in Pennsylvania. Our room was comped to a falls view, because we're just that awesome. We got to see the falls lit up, and ate ice cream from our hotel as we watched the fireworks.

Day 22: Rode the Maid of the Mist early in the morning, and walked the length of the falls over to the welcome center and gift shop. Then we got to ride the tram back up the hill, after Hayden conquered his fears (also know as realizing we were not tricking him into boarding the tower of terror). We headed home, stopping at the ever underwhelming Buffalo Bills stadium.

Day 23: Family Day! We went to the Sacred Heart Festival, out to Maumee Bay state park to celebrate with a birthday brunch of a whole gaggle of people. We accidentally swam with Max and Henry, and Peyton learned a valuable lesson in how mom is nearly always right. We visited Grandpa in his new house, where Hayden thought grandpa was now living in a hotel. We went out to dinner with the Sattler's, and visited with family at grandma's house. Also, probably contracted pink eye.

Day 24: First day of kids college- Thank God. Peyton needed a break from me, and I needed a break from him. Took Hayden out to Marblehead and climbed on the rocks by the light house, noting grandma and calibs carelessness around rocks previously. We had ice cream, or really, melted cream. Boat night got rained out, so we had Chud's for dinner and went out to Cedar Point to play putt putt, have ice cream, and swim (albeit illegally) in the camper village pool. Ice cream count for the day: 2.

Day 25: Second day of kids college. Took Hayden to the Imagination Station in Toledo with Ben, where we ate raw meat, I had a sick baby who just happened to be African American, and we built a block tower as tall as we could before hurricane Hayden arrived. We went out to lunch where Hayden had a photo shoot with the salad bar and Bens feet (not at the same time of course, that would be inappropriate). After kids college we went out to Huron to ride on Bob and Linda's boat. Had a picnic dinner, swam in the lake, saw Cedar Point by boat, and Hayden played bumper boats while Peyton actually played a decent captain.

Day 26: Third day of kids college. Took Hayden to Sandusky to have lunch with Tiffany and Aiden (yes, Hayden and Aiden- that was fun), played at the playground, and then headed back to Fremont to pick up Mom and Peyton. Watched Grandma's camel ride snowball into a huge (perhaps even epic) event, the boys feed some animals, and went to Fazoli's for dinner. Then crashed the camper village pool again before stopping by DQ on our way home. All without ever being seen, like ninja's or something.

Day 27: Last day of kids college. Took Hayden to the library where we searched for Waldo for an hour and a half (it's alot more difficult without google handy), brought everyone lunch at Terra, took Hayden out to white star park to swim and to DQ (because, I mean, we obviously needed more ice cream) before getting Peyton from kids college and going to the Fremont Rec Center to swim. Went to dinner at the pizza palace, played with the garden hose so much so grandma had to nix the hearing aids, caught lighting bugs who later made a great escape also ninja style, did sparklers and only had one burn, packed, and "lost" to Peyton in hotels again.

Day 28: Go Home Day! Or so we thought, stupid plane delays. Went to the cemetery where Hayden was sorely disappointed Mr. Ham Lincoln wasn't buried there, and took 5 boys to lunch with me (because four just isn't enough). Afterward we got screwed out of a trip on our second train ride to add to the transportation tally due to storms nearing the zoo. Of course we were nearing the end of vacation, so we had to make one more trip for... anyone? anyone? ICE CREAM! Then took the plane home to end one epicly long vacation.

Next Up: The Epic Count of Epic Events on my Epic Vacation. And, THE END.

Day 28- Tell the World I'm coming home!

The day has arrived, it's go home day. However, I am currently sitting at the Detroit airport- when I should be boarding a plane. Why? Because my plane is, shockingly enough, delayed. This does however mean it'll be after midnight when I get home, which makes day 28 not actually go home day, and instead Day 29. *Sigh* I thought Peyton was about to melt down when we saw the sign saying it was delayed. He did collapse onto the ground and yell "NOOOOOOO!" in the middle of the airport. The people at the gate looked at him, like, geez, thats being a little over dramatic. I did announce to them that we were on vacation for four weeks, so all that he's thinking about is getting home.

This morning I had planned on getting a few things done at my moms house, getting the sheets and everything off the bed, and downloading her pictures to my computer among other things, but after packing everything else, repeatedly weighing bags, reshuffling things, and reweighing them over and over again, I was so sweaty and gross I could hardly stand it, so I thought, screw this- I'm outta here.

We got in the car and cranked the air up, and went up to Toledo. I did stop by the cemetery that my dad and grandpa are buried at, because I felt guilty I hadn't been in a year. Now, my dad would be the last person to care, but I thought I should go, so we did. It really bummed us out, for obvious reasons, but Haydens complete lack of the concept of death amused us. We pulled in and he said 'is this the zoo?' Oh boy. I replied 'No Hayden, this is the cemetery'. Hayden says 'Whats a cemetery'. Peyton tells him 'it's where they bury people when they die'. Hayden thought for a moment and said 'Oh, can we go see where Mr. Ham Lincoln (this is how he says Abraham Lincoln, and I refuse to correct him because it's so funny) is buried?' He was pretty confident anyone who had ever died was in this cemetery. It didn't help matters when we passed a headstone that said "Hamm and Peyton tried to convince Hayden that was Abraham Lincoln. We also had earlier had a conversation about death, in which Hayden told Peyton 'I can't die, I'm too young'. Peyton, being the ever practical one said people can die in an accident at any age (I did tell them to quit talking about it, but they continued). Hayden then proclaimed if he died young it would be only if a fire breathing dragon caught him, and ate him. Oh Hayden, always being realistic. I did finally get to see the pavers in the veterans section for my dad and grandpa in person though, that was nice.

After our stop we went over to pick up my cousins Jake and Nate, and went over to Panera to meet my friend Ben and have lunch. It was me and 5 boys, which is really only one more than usual, so I didn't really feel all that out of place. After lunch we headed out to the zoo. I knew we didn't have a lot of time (actually we did have a lot of time, I just didn't know it-- stupid airport delays) so we just stayed in the front part of the zoo with the polar bears and seals, and the zebras and giraffes. I was quite disappointed that there was no baby polar bear, even though it was quite hyped up. What a let down. I did get to ride the Lion on the carousel though. A storm was brewing, so we headed toward the entrance and of course had to make a quick gift shop stop so the boys could get something. I think Hayden is going to be real upset the first time we go somewhere when we get home and I tell him he can't get anything. Talk about spoiled the last four weeks. (In their defense though they did save up for 6 months for this trip)

The rain started while we were in the gift shop, I was hoping to wait until it let up, but I thought I was on a time crunch (I am not bitter at all my plane is delayed). Eventually I said goodbye to Ben, and ran to car. Then I drove up on the sidewalk to pick everyone else up. It was a Florida sized storm with tree limbs and power outages and everything. The boys thought it was cool we were driving around right after it- we saw car accidents, lights out, and limbs down everywhere.
I wanted to see my grandma and Aunt Bonnie one more time, so we stopped up at grandmas. Because I had my moms car, her friend Lyn brought her to grandmas and we all met there. We were supposed to go to the igloo for ice cream, but because of the storm we thought it would be best to go to McDonald's instead. Then, again in the effort to save time, we decided to drink our frozen lemonades/shakes/smoothies on the way. Grandma came with us so we got to visit a little bit more, that was nice.

We got to the airport, had dinner on grandma, and the boys got an airplane set with some cars. It's a good thing too, I packed away a lot of the stuff so between those and the coloring books and crayons grandma set, we're not getting too ancy about the delay. However, as Hayden is flying the plane around, he says "This plane is flying to Alaska- and it's taking them FOREVER to get there" Ah ha, he does remember something from the last four weeks.

Score! Plane has landed. Looks like I'll get to finish blogging in the air!

In the air now, on the way home. They got us on and going pretty quick, so I might just make it home before midnight. Asa sent me a very cute picture of Porkchop just before I got on the plane, so I suggested he bring Porkers to the airport with him. I really thought he would say that he didn't want to listen to him whine, and wasn't going to bring him, but he actually agreed and said he would bring Phenom too. Although, when he picks me up he might complain that Porkchop whined the whole trip. Whatever, though, I had his kids whining the whole trip, he can handle my dog for an hour and a half. I would like to thank Airtran for providing directions on how to eat this delicious package of pretzels though. I would be lost without them.

So, vacation is over. That pretty much means the end of the blog- although I have one planned for tomorrow I've been working on since Day 1. It's pretty entertaining if I do say so myself. Some people have suggested I keep the blog going once I get home. Of course it would need a new name, since it would no longer be about the epic vacation. We'll see. I would like to thank Christina Miller for the idea to write this blog though. I would have forgotten half the vacation unless I had written it. I'm going to bind it for the boys, so they can always remember it. I doubt we will ever take a vacation of such epic proportions again. This is one for the record books.

Next Up: Getting off the plane and heading for home

Day 27- Stick A Fork In It

You know how you start to get sad when your vacation is coming to a close? I have a remedy to this- just stay on vacation until you get sick of vacation. I'm pretty much all vacationed out. Don't get me wrong, it was some good times. But enough is enough. It's like I ate too much chocolate, and now I have a tummy ache. Too much of a good thing is just that, too much. The boys are also all vacationed out. Hayden asked me if 'normal people go on vacation this long', and Peyton said 'vacation was fun, but it can be over now'. We are all on each other nerves. Except of course my mom, she said she'd be sad to see us leave. I don't know how we haven't driven her nuts yet.
The last two days my motivation to get out of the house and do much has been about zilch. But, it's super hot in the house, as you all know, it's hotter here than in FL minus the air conditioning. So, not awesome. I find myself fondly remembering home like it was the good old college days or something. I said to Peyton today 'remember when we had a pool across the street and air conditioning? Remember when we saw palm trees, and our puppies? Those were the good old days'.

In addition to my motivation, I've found a direct correlation between the time spent on vacation, and the organization of the luggage. As the percentage of vacation completed increases, the percentage of things that are organized decreases. I'm pretty sure I've hit rock bottom on the organization front. I have packed three bags to go home, and I just kind of threw stuff in all of them, it's a total mess. But a mess I won't have to worry about until I get home.

Lets talk Asacation for a moment. About two weeks before we left I emailed him a very reasonable list of things to get done on Asacation. He did comment if it didn't have eating or sleeping on the list, it wasn't a true Asacation project, however, he implied he would get them done (Do you see where this is going?) Yesterday was the first day I brought it up. I said 'hey, how's that list coming'. His response was 'what was the list again?' When he started going through it he liked to use the phrase 'it's pretty much done', meaning he had the intention of possibly getting it done before I got home, but had really done none of it. He would use bogus percentages, telling me 80 percent was done- then it was 'pretty much done'- then it was 'well, I'm going to do that'. So, anyone want to take bets on how much is actually done when I get home tomorrow?

On to todays events...

I got up early this morning because it was so hot, I just couldn't sleep in the heat anymore. Calib's dad dropped him off, because they had a funeral to go to and didn't want him to miss his last day of kids college. It was so nice and refreshing to have him around. He really eased the tension between Peyton and Hayden. He knows how to handle Hayden's whineyness. Peyton knows how to instigate it.

After I dropped them off at kids college, I decided I needed to go somewhere to be in the air conditioning, so Hayden and I headed out to the library. I had meant to go earlier in the week so we could check some stuff out, but it just didn't happen. We pulled out all the where's waldo books and sat on the floor hunting for Waldo for a good hour and a half. Hayden was much better at finding Waldo than I was, but that's probably because he studies the books we have at home and knew right where Waldo is in most of the pictures.

We went out to get lunch for Calib, Peyton, and my mom and met them in my mom's office for lunch. They had been eating there all week, and I had promised the last day I would bring them lunch. It was nice to get to visit with Calib for a little more. I tried really hard not to talk about going home tomorrow, I know he is homesick, and not so excited it's still two more weeks until he'll be home. But, he's also having a good time.

Calib and Peyton went back to their last class after lunch and I took Hayden out to White Star Park in Gibsonburg to swim. I hadn't been there in years and years. The water was cool, and it was free to get in today- but it was packed. There were people everywhere, so we didn't stay all that long, we just cooled off and then headed over to DQ for some cool down ice cream style. After that we picked up Peyton and went over to the Fremont Rec Center for some more swimming. Although Hayden was totally bummed he's too short for the waterslides there. It was also packed. It made me REALLY grateful for our subdivision pool. I know the pool is open to a lot more people than just the subdivision, plus a lot of the people in Oakstead already have their own pools. Plus the fact it's always that hot, so we don't all rush to the pool when the temperature climbs that high. Either way, I didn't really appreciate all the little kids running and being out of control with parents not watching their five year old belly flopping into 2 feet of water right next to me. But you know, you do what you have to for the kids to cool down.

After the pool we headed back to my moms, I had packing to do after all. We went out for pizza, because Hayden hasn't had enough pizza this trip. (Someone is going to be quite upset when he has to eat his vegetables with dinner.) Peyton spilled spaghetti all over the floor at one point. Things have just really gotten out of control. Listening is at a premium around here, whining is in abundance, and homesickness is turning to cranky-pants-ness. After dinner, we decided the boys should water the plants in their swimsuits and we could just cool them off with the water from the hose. I then decided I'd just wash their hair and give them some soap and call it a shower. Look, we're on Day 27 here, I will do just about anything to cut some corners at this point. Don't judge me, we've been going down a slippery slope here for the last few days and I'm starting to lose it. This single parent crap stinks.

They did get a little out of hand with the hose, drenching me and my mom to the point where my mom had to take out her hearing aids. They probably played with the water for an hour. I then decided I would just wash my hair out there too, and I'll shower in the morning after I get all the luggage out to the car- I'm going to need it. After that we caught some fire flies. I poked some holes in the top of a jar, but I got a little too excited taking my frustrations out on the top of the jar and the holes ended up big enough for the bugs to crawl out (there are currently 4 lightning bugs flying around the bed room- Hayden says they are his 'own personal night light slaves'). Then we changed into our PJs and did some sparklers. Afterward I packed- and I use that term loosely- the more accurate term would be, I threw some stuff in some suitcases. Peyton wanted to play another game of hotels, so we did. I used the same interesting math concepts from the other night, and Peyton won again. Funny how that happened again.

Now the boys are arguing with each other and complaining about the heat, even though we're trying out this room air conditioner thing my mom had. It does help a little, but it's still just out of control hot. The good news is we have four fans going, so I can barely hear the arguing over them. I'll be quite glad to be home in just about 24 hours. It's finally happening- I'm going home. Asa can stop sending me my daily Porkchop pictures- and I can actually see Porkchop!

But before I do that, lets reminisce on the epic vacation, and my highlights!

Leg 1: Tampa to Fairbanks- Wild Moose sighting narrowly edges out feeding/petting the Moose at the Reindeer Farm
Leg 2: Land Portion of the cruise tour- The glass domed train ride from Anchorage to Seward (in which I also saw a wild moose family from afar) narrowly edges out walking along the river in Denali National Park
Leg 3: The Cruise- The Whale Watching Cruise narrowly edges out cruising through the Hubbard Glacier (I was REALLY sea sick that day)
Leg 4: Seattle- Being on the top of the Space Needle at sunset narrowly edges out the tide pools (I was awfully worried about kids staying upright)
Leg 5: A couple of days in Ohio and Niagara Falls- Maid of the Mist easily edges out the Tram ride to the top of the hill (though that was still really fun)
Leg 6: Last Couple Days in Ohio- Watching Grandma ride the camel narrowly edges out going out on Bob's boat on the lake. (It was her lifelong dream, after all.

Tonights self taken picture: drenched from the garden hose, but smiling- come on, I go home tomorrow!

Homesick meter: 6- Again, we're going home tomorrow!

Up Next: Did I mention we're going home tomorrow? (Actually I'll believe it when I see it, it seems as though I'm never going home) But before that I get to go to the zoo, and swing by the igloo!